Love and Lust
by SheeWolf85
Summary: Renesmee Cullen goes on vacation with her parents to Seattle, Washington.  There, she meets a stranger with a curious hold on her.  Is it love at first sight, or just lust? Jake/Ness, AU/AH.  M for smut. Now complete!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Well, hello! There was a time when I decided I would no longer post smut on FFn for fear that my account would be closed. I've realized now that I'm just not popular enough to be found :) So screw it (*snickers*), I'm posting smut here. This is my newest piece. It came about because I had been reading up on some writing tips featuring smut, and I wanted to try them out. Hopefully it makes for a good story? All recognizable characters, situations, pairings, blah, blah, blah, belong to Stephenie Meyer, and not me. Shocked? I knew you would be. Two PTB betas worked on this story for me, and I'd love to thank them both, but only one put her (I'm assuming she's a she) name on the doc. So special thanks to JointGifts and the mysterious second beta. Please review! And follow me on Twitter SheeWolf85.

A few updates. First, I fixed a few small errors in this chapter that I noticed after I started writing the second part. They're not big and don't affect the plot at all, so it is not necessary to read it again if you don't want to.

Second, there has been some major reconstruction of this story behind the scenes. You may have noticed how the title changed to 'Desire' and then to 'Love and Lust.' This is because I can't make up my mind :) I had first decided that this would be a oneshot and that I would *not* expand on it. But, of course, I should know by now that I cannot write oneshots. They either turn into two shots (or a series), or they turn into chaptered stories. I first tried to make this a series, but the separate oneshot deal didn't work out. I wrote the next oneshot and it just sounded weird at the end. I changed the formatting a little to a chaptered story, and voila! It works. So that's why I changed it so many times.

Thirdly, I broke this first oneshot into two chapters for one reason: it felt weird to have an almost 10,000 word first chapter when the rest are likely to be about half that. So before you get too excited, chapters one and two of this story is stuff you've already read (if you read the original oneshot). Chapter 3 is currently in Beta, so it will be updated when I get that back.

And lastly, thank you so much to anyone and everyone who sticks around with me through this process of story reinvention. This story is for you :)

So now we get to the story:

* * *

Love and Lust

Chapter 1

Renesmee Cullen sighed as she looked down at the chicken on her plate, pushing the uneaten portion around. She listened impassively to the conversations around her, wishing that this trip could just end. Her mother had insisted on the insipid family vacation, and Renesmee knew she'd be nothing but bored all day long, every day. Today was only day two of a fourteen day trip to none other than Seattle, Washington.

She put her fork down and sighed again, looking around the restaurant. It wasn't crowded, but a few of the tables had patrons. Someone across the room laughed, and the sound rose above the muted clatter of silverware on dishes and many conversations.

As she looked around, she noticed a man sitting three tables down from them, staring at her. She met his eyes and was struck by a strange feeling that she knew him. Their eyes held for a few long moments, until she heard her name.

"Renesmee," she heard again, a little louder. She broke eye contact with the man and looked at Edward, her dad.

"Huh?"

Edward chuckled. "I asked if you were having a good time yet."

"Oh … Yeah, I guess so." She shrugged, and her dad chuckled again before turning back to Bella, her mother. They started in on another conversation about their plans for the trip, and Renesmee turned back toward the unknown man.

She had expected him to be looking away, but instead, she met his eyes again. He was smiling this time, and Renesmee felt the corners of her lips turning up in response.

The man was undeniably handsome. He looked to be in his early to mid-twenties, a few years older than her at least, with dark russet skin and short black hair. His eyes were dark, but Renesmee could feel him staring right through her.

He turned away from her then, and Renesmee noticed that he wasn't alone. A young woman and a boy who looked like he was in his mid-teens sat at the table with him. They all had the same dark skin and black hair. The boy's hair was short, and the woman's hair was done in a sleek bob that reached her chin in the front and was cut short in the back. Renesmee bit her lip, telling herself to look away and finish her dinner. She just couldn't take her eyes off of him, though. She stared at him as he talked with the people at the table, and wished she could hear the conversation. The woman was beautiful, and Renesmee tried to tell herself that she was the man's girlfriend. Or maybe wife. There would be no use even thinking about him.

But she still couldn't tear her eyes away.

She stared at him until the waiter came to the table and blocked her view. She furrowed her brow and sighed, looking at her parents as they contemplated desserts. It seemed to drag on forever, and Renesmee put her chin in her hand as her mother asked the waiter's opinion on five different confections.

"Do you want some dessert, honey?" Bella asked, turning to Renesmee.

Renesmee sighed and shook her head. "I'm okay, thank you though." She'd never been a sweets lover, so it wasn't out of the ordinary for her to decline. But her real reason was that she just wanted the waiter to leave so she could stare at the man some more.

"Are you sure? The waiter says the mascarpone cheesecake is delicious."

"I'm sure, Mom. Thanks anyway."

Her parents finally made their selections and the waiter walked away. Renesmee looked up immediately, her eyes going directly to the seat the man had occupied. But it was empty.

She looked around for a second, desperate to find him again. Disappointment flooded through her, and she stared at the empty table for a few more seconds before slumping down in her chair. She didn't pay any attention when her dad told her to stop slouching. She decided she could slouch if she wanted to. Any chance of a fun vacation was just ruined.

She sulked through her parents' dessert, and didn't answer any questions about her wellbeing when they were finally on their way back to the hotel. She was grateful that her dad kept his promise and left his profession at home. She locked herself in her room and sat on her bed.

She had already prepared herself for an annoyingly boring vacation. Why did she have to see him?

She sighed again and flopped backward on her bed.

"At least I got to see him, right?" she said softly to herself. "I could have gone this whole vacation not knowing there was an insanely hot guy running around."

It didn't seem like much, but it did help lift her despair. She could still endure a boring vacation while knowing the world's hottest man was lurking somewhere in the same city.

"And besides, he's probably married and older than he looks. That kid could've been his son."

She got up off the bed and sighed. She didn't care if he _was_ old enough to have a teenage son; he was still hot.

* * *

"Wake up, honey," Bella called as she walked into the room the next morning. "We're going shopping!"

Renesmee groaned and turned around in her bed. "Leemelone," she slurred.

Bella chuckled and opened the blinds before poking into her daughter's luggage. Renesmee held up one hand, palm toward the offensive sunlight, and hissed theatrically.

"Stop being so melodramatic. You're coming with me because your dad refuses to shop with me, and I need company or I'll spend way too much." She laid out a shirt and pants on the foot of the bed. "So get dressed and meet me in the living room in fifteen minutes." She patted Renesmee's leg before walking out of the room.

Renesmee sighed to herself and sat up. Her copper hair was everywhere, curls falling in her face and all around her shoulders. She puffed out a breath to try to blow the hair away from her face, but it only came back. Rolling her eyes at herself, she pushed the hair back and climbed out of bed to get dressed.

Fifteen minutes later – not a second sooner – Renesmee dragged her feet into the living room. Bella smiled brightly, and Renesmee wanted to curse the existence of morning.

"We'll grab some coffee and muffins while we're out." Bella patted Renesmee on the shoulder and called to Edward. "We're leaving, Hun."

Edward came out of the bedroom still in his pajama bottoms and white t-shirt, and Renesmee couldn't help but glare at him a little bit. He just shrugged and hugged his wife. "Love you two. Be careful and have fun. You got everything you need?"

Bella nodded and kissed him. Renesmee turned her head. "Yes, I think so. You wanted me to use the gold card, right?"

Renesmee crossed her arms and tapped her foot on the floor as her parents went over expenses and which cards could be used for today's purchases. She could have stayed in bed an extra five minutes.

But, finally, everything was sorted and the women left the hotel.

Renesmee felt a little more alive after eating a bagel stuffed with eggs and cheese and drinking some coffee. She walked along the bustling streets, just taking in the scenery and the people as she followed her mother. Occasionally, Bella would find something that she had to have, but most of the trip was spent looking. Renesmee didn't mind the looking part, at least when it came to things like antique shops and the small boutiques that lined the streets. It was the clothing stores that really bothered Renesmee. She didn't like trying on clothes and deciding what she wanted or didn't want.

"I used to be the same way, sweetie," Bella said as she handed a blue shirt over the door of the fitting room stall for Renesmee to try on. "Your Aunt Alice converted me after I married your father. It took her some time, but she turned me onto fashion."

Renesmee just rolled her eyes as she stripped off the first red shirt she'd tried on to squeeze herself into the blue tourniquet that dared called itself a shirt. She'd heard the story a thousand times; Bella was the shy girl with no interest in fashion at all until she was literally thrown into the world of Edward Cullen and his overenthusiastic sister Alice. The almost-accident had been their first meeting, and it had sparked a friendship that eventually turned into what they had now: a marriage spanning two decades and an eighteen-year-old daughter.

"Do you have it on yet?" Bella asked.

Renesmee adjusted her breasts in the shirt as she looked in the mirror. "Yeah, kinda."

"What do you mean? Let me see." Bella tugged uselessly on the top of the door, impatient for her daughter to open it. Renesmee sighed and opened the door. She felt like she should cover herself; the shirt gave her the type of cleavage she had only dreamed about, and she felt more than a little exposed walking out in public.

Bella nodded. "Your dad might have a word or two to say against it, but I think it's really nice. What do you think?"

Renesmee shrugged and licked her lips as she looked around the store. She felt eyes on her and was a little paranoid that everyone was staring. As her eyes swept over the racks of shirts they were standing near, she saw him.

The handsome man from the restaurant the night before was standing next to a rack of summer shirts, staring at her. She felt her face heat up, but she couldn't tear her eyes away. He was taller than she expected him to be, towering over anyone that passed by him. He was thin, but not lanky. The dark grey t-shirt he was wearing seemed to accentuate his thick arms and broad chest. Someone tugged on his arm and he looked away from her, down at the woman that had sat next to him the previous night. She held up two shirts, obviously comparing them and asking for his opinion. He sighed and shrugged before plucking one out of her hand and putting it back on the rack. She gave him a dirty look before putting the chosen shirt in the cart. Renesmee noticed the teenage boy from last night also standing by the rack. He didn't seem to be paying attention to anything but the iPod in his hand.

"Renesmee?"

She blinked and turned her attention back to her mother. "Um, yeah. I like it." She turned and went back into the stall to change back to her shirt.

"Well hold on, honey, I have some more I want you to try on." She handed a few more shirts and two pairs of pants over the door. Renesmee sat down on the small bench in the stall and sighed as disappointment once again ate at her stomach. She just knew that by the time they were done, he'd be long gone.

_At least I got to see him again for a second_, she told herself. _It's better than nothing_.

She got to it and managed to extricate herself from the blue shirt to try on the rest of the clothing. When she was finally done, she decided to keep the blue shirt and a short, faded jean skirt that seemed to fit her particularly well. The bottom of it was frayed, giving the look that it had been ripped, and it came to her mid-thigh.

As Bella put the unwanted clothing in the provided cart, Renesmee scanned the shop for the mysterious man. She sighed in dismay when she couldn't find him.

"How about some lunch?" Bella asked as she turned back to Renesmee.

Renesmee nodded. "Okay."

They walked down the street to a small sandwich shop and got in line. There were five people ahead of them, and Renesmee sighed as they inched their way closer to the counter. They were inching closer in line when Bella handed her the bag she was holding.

"I need to run to the ladies' room; I'll be right back."

Renesmee nodded and shifted her bags to hold everything. She moved up one more person and stared at the menu to try to decide what she wanted.

"Hi," a deep voice said behind her. She turned around and stood in shock as she stared at the man she'd searched for in the clothing shop. He was a few feet away from her, but she still had to look up to meet his eyes. They were just as dark and intense as they had been in the restaurant and the boutique. He smiled and held out his hand.

"I'm Jacob."

She licked her lips and took his hand. His skin was smooth and warm. "Renesmee."

He didn't pull away or let go of her hand. "How's your Wednesday going?" he asked.

"Good. Yours?"

He shrugged. "Getting dragged around town by my sister isn't exactly what I call fun, but it's not too bad."

She smiled a wide smile at the knowledge that he was not married to the woman. Just then, the woman and the teenage boy walked up.

"Jacob," the woman whined, "what are you—" She stopped when she noticed Renesmee and their still-clasped hands. "Oh."

"Leah, this is Renesmee," Jacob said, gesturing toward Renesmee with his free hand. "And Renesmee, this is my sister Leah. The scrawny one's our younger brother, Seth, but he doesn't usually do much other than download music on his iPod."

Renesmee nodded and smiled to herself when she noticed that Seth was oblivious to the conversation. He had earphones in, and Renesmee assumed he was tuning anything and everything else out.

The person ahead of Renesmee in line finished placing his order and moved on just as Bella came back from the restroom. Renesmee pulled her hand back from Jacob's before her mother could ask questions. She noticed the disappointed look on his face and cast him a quick glance before turning to her mother.

"We're next." She gestured to the counter and Bella smiled before stepping up. Renesmee looked behind her at Jacob again before placing her order. As she answered the chef's questions, she thought of ways she could keep in contact with Jacob. Now that she knew his name and knew he wasn't married, she wanted to get to know him more. The strange feeling that she knew him hadn't faded; she felt it stronger now than before. Although she'd never met him before, she still felt a familiarity that confused and excited her.

They moved down the counter to the payment area and Renesmee kept her eyes on Jacob. He let Leah order first and lightly smacked Seth on the back of his head to get his attention when it was his turn to order. Seth pulled an earbud out and mumbled his order to the chef.

Bella paid for the sandwiches and tugged on Renesmee's shirt to get her to follow. Renesmee did follow, trying to keep her eyes on Jacob. She didn't want to lose him this time.

"What has gotten into you?" Bella asked as they sat down, a perceptive glint in her eye.

Renesmee sighed and started unwrapping her sandwich. She knew her mother was no dummy and had probably noticed her staring. She still wasn't sure how to explain herself. "Did you see the man behind us?"

Bella smiled knowingly. "Yes, I did. He's … um … yeah." Her smile expanded, and Renesmee couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Exactly. He came up to me when you were in the bathroom. His name's Jacob and that girl with him is his sister." She bit her lip and looked over at Jacob, who was just paying for their order. He looked up and met her eyes, seeming to relax a little when he did. Leah sighed and Jacob gave her a quick glare before they started walking toward Renesmee's table.

Renesmee barely contained her squeal of delight when they sat at the table next to her. She glanced at her mother, who gave her daughter a look of approval mixed with a look of caution. Renesmee bit her lip and turned back to Jacob. He smiled at her.

"Hey."

She smiled back, euphoria swelling in her stomach as she squeaked back, "Hi."

Bella gave Renesmee a pointed glance, and Renesmee felt a small twinge of nervousness as she gestured to her mother.

"This is my mom, Bella. Mom, this is Jacob, his sister Leah, and his brother Seth."

Seth managed a quick 'hello' through a mouthful of sandwich, and Leah gave him a dirty look. He just shrugged his shoulders and took another bite.

"Do you guys live around here?" Bella asked.

"Yeah. Leah's going to Seattle University for nursing and I'm a personal trainer at Experience Fitness."

Renesmee smiled to herself; she liked that information a little too much. She glanced at Jacob and he met her eyes with his stare. She licked her lips and took another bite of her sandwich.

"Oh, that must be fun. Do you like working there?"

"Yeah, it's pretty fun. What about you, do you live around here?"

Renesmee shook her head. "No, we're on vacation from Arizona. We'll be here for two weeks."

Jacob looked at her and she swore she saw a brief flash of disappointment in his eyes.

Jacob and Renesmee kept up the small talk as they ate, and Bella added her own comments every now and then. She learned a lot about Jacob and his family. Their mother had died in a car accident when Seth was five, and their father had died of cancer three years ago. Seth was only twelve at the time, but Jacob was granted guardianship since he was twenty-one and had a steady job, able to take care of his brother. Seth was fifteen now, and Jacob was twenty-four. Leah was twenty-one and convinced she was going to discover the cure for cancer someday.

As much as Renesmee learned about Jacob, he learned just as much about her. Bella told him how Renesmee had graduated from high school with honors and was taking a small break before looking into colleges. She told him how her daughter was still undecided about a major, and Renesmee felt like hiding when Bella told him her father was pushing her to go into the medical field. Her father was a psychologist, and he came from a long line of doctors or other medical professionals. Bella was his secretary.

Leah and Seth kept to themselves, Leah commenting on Seth's manners a few times.

After a while, Leah tapped Jacob's arm. He turned to her and hummed.

"I need to get to class." He nodded and hugged her quickly. She stood up. "It was nice meeting you guys. See you later. Seth, that paper better be done by tomorrow."

Seth nodded and waved his hand at her, never raising his eyes from the iPod in his other hand. She sighed and gave Jacob a pointed look, before taking her bag and walking out of the shop. Jacob chuckled and turned back to Renesmee.

After lunch, they gathered up their garbage and Seth got social enough to throw everything away. Jacob glanced at Bella for a second before leaning closer to Renesmee.

"I'd like to see you again," he said quietly.

She smiled at him, mesmerized and a little dizzy from the intensity in his eyes. She swallowed and reminded herself how to breathe before she spoke.

"I'd like that, too."

"I don't have to work on Friday. Can I take you out to dinner?"

She took a moment to pretend to consider his question. She didn't want to appear too eager by jumping up and down. She cast a nervous glance at her mother, who was watching the two with a satisfied smirk on her face.

"Yes."

He grinned and plucked a feedback card and pencil from the wooden holder on the table, flipping the card over to write on the back. He wrote a phone number down before grabbing another card and handing both to her.

"This is my number. Can I have yours?"

She bit her lip to keep her smile from breaking her face, as she took the cards and wrote her phone number and the hotel address on the blank card. She handed it back to him and he smiled for a second before folding it up and putting it in his pocket.

"I'll pick you up at six on Friday?" He stood and held out his hand for her. She took it and stood up next to him, glancing at Bella again. Bella nodded slightly, silently telling Renesmee they didn't have any plans for that time.

"That sounds great," Renesmee said.

He squeezed her fingers and met her eyes with the same dark intensity as before. She shivered.

"We should get home, honey. Your dad's probably wondering if we're still alive." Bella picked up her bag.

Renesmee sighed and looked up at Jacob. He nodded.

"Seth's got some serious work to do on a paper for his summer class, so we should go, too."

Seth started to give Jacob a dirty look, but Jacob stopped it with a glance.

"I'll see you Friday," Jacob said, turning back to Renesmee. He lifted her hand he still held and kissed her knuckles. She drew in a deep breath and tried to keep from melting.

"Okay."

She took her hand back and picked up her bags. Jacob held the door for Renesmee and her mother, earning an impressed glance from Bella. Renesmee stole one more look at Jacob before they went their separate ways.

* * *

Edward greeted the women when they walked into the hotel room. Renesmee pranced to the couch to deposit their bags and Edward followed her with his gaze.

"She seems happier."

Bella smiled secretively. "She is."

"How was your shopping trip?"

Renesmee skipped up to him and kissed his cheek. "It was wonderful. I have a date!"

"Wait, you have a what?"

Renesmee calmed herself and swallowed. "A date."

Edward looked over at Bella. "You go shopping and she comes back with a date. What store did you go to?"

Bella laughed. "We went to a few antiques stores, a charming little clothing boutique, and Subway for lunch. She met him at Subway."

Renesmee bit her lip and decided not to tell them she had seen him before then.

"So, who is this date with?" Edward asked, looking back over at Renesmee.

"His name is Jacob. He's twenty-four and a personal trainer at a gym."

"Twenty-four?"

Renesmee rolled her eyes. "Yes, Dad. Twenty-four. That's only six years older than me, and you are ten years older than Mom. I don't want to hear anything about age."

Edward grumbled a little and Bella patted his hand. "She's right."

"I know that. But a date, Renesmee? Shouldn't you get to know him a little before you go out with him?"

"I did get to know him a little. We talked over lunch. And what would be the point in dating anyone if I already knew everything there was to know? Isn't the whole point of dating, to get to know them?"

Edward looked at Bella, and she smiled affectionately.

"I talked to him, too, Edward. I thought he was very nice."

Edward rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath, "Of course you did."

"Dad, my point is that I have a date and you're not going to ruin it for me. He's going to pick me up at six on Friday, and you're not going to say a word." Renesmee crossed her arms over her chest to show him she wasn't negotiating.

"I don't get to say hi?"

"No, you don't. Because I know the minute you see him, you're going to try to decipher his every movement. You promised Mom and me that work stays at home, and I'm not going to let you scare him off with your psychobabble."

Edward tried to argue, but Bella put her hand on his arm. "She's right, Edward. I know you would never intentionally step in like that, but it's instinct for you. Let her get to know him better, before you start analyzing him."

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I can't believe I'm even considering this."

"Just remember that I was there and I talked to him. He seems very mature and responsible."

"Yes, he _seems_ mature and responsible. If I could sit down with him for ten minutes—"

"No," Renesmee said sternly. "Just one date with him before you scare him off is all I'm asking, and I don't think it's too much. Mom obviously agrees with me."

Bella nodded, and Edward groaned. "Fine. I'll stay in the other room when he gets here."

Renesmee smiled and hugged him. "I love you, Daddy."

He kissed her forehead. "Love you, too, Pumpkin."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Chapter 2 is the second half of the original oneshot. So sorry for any confusion! Please read the A/N in the first chapter if you haven't already. Next chapter is currently in beta :)

I still don't own anything. JointGifts and the mystery beta are to be thanked for this chapter as well :)

* * *

Love and Lust

Chapter 2

Renesmee danced in a circle in her room, so excited she could hardly breathe. Her date with Jacob was mere hours away, and she couldn't wait to find out what he had planned.

A knock on her door interrupted her spin. She flopped down on the bed.

"Come in," she sang breathlessly.

Bella walked in with a smile and shut the door behind her. "Hey, sweetie. How are you?"

Renesmee sat up and bounced a little. "Oh, I am so happy. And thrilled. And just …. Ah!" She stood up and twirled once before sitting back down. Bella chuckled.

"That's good, honey. Have you talked to him at all; do you know what you're planning to do?"

"No, not yet. I thought about calling him, but then I kind of want to be surprised when he gets here."

"Okay. Well, I have a few things I need to give you for tonight. One of them is actually from your dad."

Renesmee tried to control her dread. "All right, what are they?"

"First, this is from your dad." She held out a small can of pepper spray, and Renesmee raised an eyebrow at it.

"Really?"

Bella shrugged. "I believe that he's an honest guy with good intentions, but even I would feel better if you had some kind of protection. Please take it."

Renesmee sighed and took the tube from her mother's hand. "I guess you might have a point. But I won't need it."

"Regardless. Now, this one is a little awkward, but goes with the same principle of protection."

Renesmee raised her hand, ready to decline the offer, when her mother surprised her by pulling out a condom. She was sure her face was bright pink now.

"You probably won't need it, but it's better to be prepared than to be caught off-guard. We both know how quickly one can go from 'not there yet' to 'really there.'"

Renesmee's face heated even more and she snatched the condom out of her mother's hand. It was bad enough that Bella knew her daughter wasn't a virgin. "Okay, I get it. I'll take it."

"Thank you. Just one more thing."

Renesmee groaned, wondering what else her mother could possibly have. Bella pulled her daughter into a hug and kissed the side of her head.

"I love you and I trust you. Be careful, but not too careful. This is your vacation as much as it is your father's and mine. I'm not encouraging you to have sex with him or get drunk or anything like that. I just want you to know that I'm not going to be upset if you decide to be a teenager for once in your life."

Renesmee smiled and hugged her mother back tightly. "Where did all this come from?" she asked as she pulled back.

Bella shrugged. "I guess I don't want you to feel like you have to rebel to have a life. I'd rather give you the freedom to do what you want to do, as long as you do it safely, than be called to pick you up from jail or worse."

"Jacob's mature and responsible, remember?"

"Yes, I remember. I love you."

"Love you, too, Mom. I better get ready, though. If I'm not showered in ten minutes, I won't get to take one and that would be bad." She hopped up and danced to the bathroom.

When she was showered, she bit her lip as she tried to decide what to wear. She wanted to go for cute and flirty, but not slutty. She had a hard time deciding between the blue tourniquet top and the skimpy jean skirt. One paired with the right thing would be cute and flirty, but together they would make her look like a slut. She bit her lip and considered which part of her Jacob would prefer to see.

After much debate, she decided her legs would be the better bet and pulled out her skirt. She paired it with a short-sleeved green top with a flirty yet modest scoop neckline. She decided to leave her hair down; it was going to misbehave no matter what she tried to do with it. Better to just let it do what it wanted and hope it didn't get in her way too much. She didn't go crazy with her makeup, just some eyeliner and mascara to enhance her green eyes. She finally finished the picture with a pair of black, heeled sandals.

She went out to the living room to wait for Jacob. Bella walked in and smiled.

"You look nice, sweetie."

"Thanks, Mom. I'm kind of nervous."

"Of course you are. Just relax and have fun."

Renesmee nodded and smoothed her skirt down. She paced the living room to get used to her heeled-shoes while she waited.

Her stomach bottomed out and she nearly squealed when there was a knock at the door. She took a deep breath and made a quick check that everything was in place and behaving before answering.

She sucked in a breath as she looked up at Jacob. He reached out and put a hand on the door frame, leaning into it slightly, and she watched his eyes slowly move down her body and back up. She was on fire as she inspected him in return. He was wearing a dark blue button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and blue jeans. The strength in his forearm against the doorframe was obvious, and she almost hated his shirt for hiding the rest of him. The shirt was untucked, making him appear a little more relaxed. Although it was casual, she had never seen a sexier sight.

"Hey," he said finally, meeting her eyes.

She swallowed to get her voice back. "Hi."

He smirked and dropped his hand to his side, taking a small step forward. "You look nice."

She blushed and bit her lip. "Thanks. You do, too."

"Are you ready?"

She couldn't explain why all she really wanted to do in that moment was jump him. She didn't want dinner or whatever else he had planned. Her mother's voice coming from the other room reminded her that they'd have an audience if she acted on her fantasies here, and it was enough to make her realize that he was still waiting for her answer.

"Yes, I'm ready. Where are we going?"

He took her hand and started leading her out the door. She called out goodbye to her parents and shut the door, following him down the hall.

"Do you like Chinese food?"

"Love it."

"Good. We're going to the Snappy Dragon, one of the best damn Chinese places in Seattle."

She bit her lip and suppressed the urge to skip alongside him like a six-year-old. "Sounds great."

When they got outside, he led her to a red Volkswagen and opened her door. She smiled up at him as she slipped inside.

As he drove, Renesmee took a few deep breaths to try to get a hold of herself. It didn't help that the car was manual and her heart stuttered each time he shifted.

"How was the rest of your week?" he asked.

She licked her lips. "It was good. My parents went to Matthews Beach yesterday, so I got some good time to myself. What about yours?"

He shrugged. "Not bad. I got a new trainee a few weeks ago, and he came in yesterday yelling at me because he hadn't met his goal yet. I had to laugh because he hadn't been doing anything I told him to do."

He opened her door again when they got to the restaurant and took her hand immediately when she was out. She bit her lip in excitement and was thrilled when they sat at a table where she could be close to him. He handed her a menu before opening his own.

"What's good here?" she asked.

"Do you like spicy, or not spicy?"

"Not spicy."

He pursed his lips. "Hmm…. In that case, I'd recommend the sweet and sour pork or almond chicken."

She nodded and looked over the menu. When the waiter came by, she decided on the sweet and sour pork. Jacob ordered for her and got Mongolian beef for himself. The waiter disappeared with the menus, and Jacob turned back to Renesmee.

He took her hand again, and leaned down to whisper in her ear. "I saw you on Tuesday at the Lark." His voice was low and husky, and it made her shiver.

Her breathing quickened, his breath on her ear causing goosebumps to rise along her neck.

"I saw you, too."

He nodded, and she shivered again when his nose brushed her earlobe. "I know. I wanted to talk to you then, but Leah wouldn't let me. We were there celebrating an A she'd gotten on a test, and she told me four times how disrespectful I was being."

Renesmee smiled, but it was quickly washed away with another rush of desire as he turned his head slightly and his lips brushed her hair.

"I wanted to talk to you, too." Her voice was breathy and she swallowed to get it back. "But then the waiter was taking my parents' dessert order, and when he left you were gone."

He dipped his head lower, brushing his nose along the back of her jaw line, just under her ear. She barely managed to hold in an embarrassing moan.

"I can't tell you how happy I was to see you at the store. If it weren't for Leah, I would have been beside you the second you stepped out of that changing room."

"Jake…"

"I followed you to Subway. Leah dragged me away to finish her crap, and when I saw you leaving, I started dragging her. I couldn't let you get away again."

He raised his head and she met his eyes. They were darker than they had been before, nearly black now, and their intensity had her wishing they were somewhere more private.

"I'm glad you didn't. I looked for you at the store, but couldn't find you."

He smirked and leaned back in his seat, reaching up to touch her flushed cheek. She grabbed his fingers, wanting to kiss him so badly, but was forced to let go when the waiter brought their food. The plates were set in the middle of the table with extra empty plates. Jacob thanked the waiter and he left.

"Dig in." He reached over to start dishing his plate. She smiled and started on her own.

"Oh my god, this is good," she exclaimed after a few bites.

"May I?" he asked.

She nodded and he took a piece of pork from her plate. He nodded appreciatively. "That is good. Not spicy enough, though."

"Can I try yours?"

"You can if you want, but it's five stars, which means it's really spicy."

"Oh. Yeah, I'll stay away from that."

He chuckled.

They made small talk as they ate, focusing on Jacob's job and Renesmee's upcoming college search. She didn't want to say anything yet, but Seattle University was added to her list of colleges to check out. It was the first college added, and it was only because of Jacob.

When they were finished, they opened fortune cookies.

"What does yours say?" Jacob asked, keeping his a secret for now.

Renesmee blushed and held up the small slip of paper. "Um… 'Stop searching forever. Happiness is right next to you.'" She glanced up at Jacob and blushed harder.

He smiled widely and touched her cheek. "I like that one."

"What does _yours_ say?" She tried to lean over to see it, but he held it out of her sight.

"It says, 'Help, I'm trapped in a Chinese fortune cookie factory.'"

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "No, it doesn't."

"You're right. It says, 'The best is yet to come.'" This time he showed it to her.

She smiled and remembered what a friend had once told her about adding 'in bed' to the end of each fortune. She met his eyes and something in them made her wonder if he was thinking the same thing. She blushed and took a bite of her cookie to distract herself.

"What's the plan now?" she asked.

"Whatever you'd like to do. We can go for a walk, see if there are any good movies playing; go back to my place…." He trailed off, taking a drink of his soda.

She stared at him for a second, both not sure she'd heard him right and yet positive that he'd just invited her to his house.

"Your place is an option?" she asked, hoping to clarify the offer before she jumped on it.

He smiled down at her. "Yes. Seth's at a friend's house tonight, and Leah's in class until ten."

She remembered the condom her mother had given her, but tried to calm down. It was their first date and she didn't want him to think low of her. At the same time, the burning need she felt being near him was close to completely consuming her if she didn't get some sort of release.

"I'd like to do that, then."

He met her eyes for a long moment before he nodded. She was suddenly eager to leave the restaurant. She finished her cookie and bit her lip, glancing over at him. He smiled and stood up, taking the check and her hand. She grabbed her purse and followed him to the counter, then out the door.

Neither said much this time as he drove. She was nervous and yet so excited she had a hard time sitting still. He pulled into the driveway of a two-story brown house and cut the engine.

"My house," he said before getting out of the car. She let him open her door for her again and took his hand as she got out. He led her inside, and she looked around as she put her purse down.

The living room was large and spacious, the only furniture a dark brown couch, wooden coffee table, and entertainment center.

"I like this," she said softly, noticing a few pictures hanging on the walls. At her home, the only pictures on the walls in the living room were professional photos of nature. The personal photos, which Renesmee assumed to be of Jacob's family, were somehow comforting to her. She smiled up at him.

He reached out and touched her cheek.

"Before anything else happens, Renesmee, I need to do something."

She nodded and expected him to walk away. Instead, he pulled her close to him and leaned down slowly, stopping just before his lips touched hers. He was so close and all she wanted was his kiss. His eyes met hers, and she knew she'd never seen intensity until now. They were dark and needy and full of lust, but at the same time hesitant. She licked her lips and closed her eyes, inclining her head just a little to show him he had her permission.

His breath washed over her face, and the hint of spices made her head spin. He closed the last few inches, his lips warm and soft against hers. She raised her hands, trailing her fingertips over his sleeves as she reached up to hold his shoulders and pull him a little closer. His arms tightened around her as he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss.

She took him in, releasing a soft, unexpected moan as his taste overtook her. A subdued sting from traces of the spices he'd eaten mixed with the sweet and sour in her mouth, creating a unique flavor that she knew she'd never get enough of. Her fingers gripped his shirt, determined to hold on forever, and she pushed herself up on her toes to get closer.

He started pulling away, and her fingers clutched at the cotton fabric. He didn't move far, just enough to meet her eyes again.

No words were spoken. She moved one hand from his shirt up to his hair, running her fingers through the silky strands before taking a fistful and pulling him back down to her. The second kiss was more urgent, more desires uncovered and exposed as he gripped her tighter and kissed her deeper.

Renesmee knew it was time to move forward when she had to push down an almost overpowering need to wrap her legs around him. She pulled away from the kiss first this time, and he chased her lips. She smiled and released her grip on his hair, smoothing it down gently before sliding her hand around to touch his cheek. The soft prickle of the beginnings of stubble tickled her palm and fingertips. She ran one finger over his wet bottom lip and met his eyes for a brief moment before taking a step away from him.

He released her and followed her with his eyes as she went to the couch and started digging in her purse. She smiled when she felt his hands in her hair, pulling it back from her face and into a hold she could imagine him using to show dominance. She smirked to herself and pulled a few things out of her purse, looking for one specific item.

He chuckled and reached forward, picking up the pepper spray.

"Is this something you normally carry with you?"

"My parents made me bring that," she explained. She didn't want to think about her parents right now, though, so she took the spray back and found her goal. "This is what I was really after."

She bit her lip as she held up the condom, a fierce stab of doubt running through her gut. He stared at the small silver square for a second before meeting her eyes. He took the condom from her and leaned in, one hand gripping her neck to pull her closer. He kissed her again, harsh and burning.

"Are you sure?" he asked when he pulled back.

She nodded. "I am so sure, Jacob."

He kissed her once more before taking her hand and leading her up a flight of stairs and down a short hall. The last bedroom on the left was large with an unmade, king-sized bed on the far wall. He shut the door behind them and took her waist, pulling her body into his. He kissed her, wild again, and she met his force with her grip on his hair, holding him to her aggressively.

He moved back and took a step, guiding her with him.

Her heart was hammering so hard she could feel it in her stomach as the backs of her knees hit the side of the bed. His hands on her backside kept her from falling, and her head lolled back as he pulled her into his arousal.

He leaned into her and kissed her neck, parting his lips and leaving a trail of wet fire behind. She whimpered when he bit her lightly and pulled her into him again.

"I need you, Jacob," she said breathlessly. "Please."

He shifted only enough to help her take off her shirt. It hit the floor and her hands immediately started unbuttoning his. Halfway through, he got impatient and just pulled it over his head. It joined the other shirt on the floor as he unclasped her bra and let it drop.

"Bed. Now."

She shivered at the sound of his gravelly voice and nodded. He eased her down on the bed, moving over her as he did. His lips were fervent against hers as he palmed her breasts, his hands hot and rough against her skin. Her fingertips clawed down the smooth skin of his back until she reached the denim of his pants. She parted her legs as much as her skirt would allow and gripped his hips, pulling him into her. He groaned thickly and one hand went down to her thigh to push her skirt up as he started kissing her down her throat.

She wasn't sure which she liked better; his mouth on her breasts or his hands pushing her skirt up to her waist. Once the skirt was high enough, he took hold of her panties and eased them down her legs. He sat up on his knees to toss them aside, and she reached out to unbutton his jeans. He didn't stop her, so she slid the zipper down and met his eyes as she started pushing the fabric down over his hips.

He got off the bed to take the pants off and slowly moved back over her. He licked her nipple on his way up to her lips, the warmth of his tongue a stark contrast to the instant cold that came after. She spread her legs wide for him and held up the condom he'd set on the bed earlier. He took it from her and kissed her lips before sitting up to put it on.

He leaned back down over her, positioning himself. She gripped his shoulders tightly as he started easing himself in. Everything made sense in the moment that he was completely embedded inside her. Even the feeling of familiarity she'd first noticed made sense now. This was where she belonged, surrounded and penetrated by Jacob. He held himself up by his elbows as he began thrusting, his eyes never leaving hers. Her fingertips danced over his arms and shoulders, admiring the contradiction between the softness of his skin and the hardness of his muscles.

One hand reached up to grab his hair and hold tightly as the sensation overtook her. A familiar and yet altogether new tension began building throughout her body, and she arched her back into him.

"Oh God, Jake."

His hands gripped her hair the way she'd done to him, and he finally broke eye contact as he leaned down to kiss her roughly. She lifted her knees higher, pulling him closer as each sensation was heightened.

His movements increased and he kissed her harsher, a soft cry escaping his throat. He broke the kiss and pushed himself up slightly, positioning himself for more urgent thrusts. "Shit, Renesmee. You feel so fucking good."

She mewled with rapture, closing her eyes and tilting her head back as the pressure continued to build rapidly.

His grunts became growls and his movements near violent against her. "Fuck … Come, baby."

Her fingers dug into his arms and her back arched higher as she let out a strangled moan. She was so close to the edge. "Don't stop, Jake."

He gripped her breast harshly and pushed against her harder. The tension inside her started to peak and she moaned loudly, gripping his arms fervently. He growled loudly again and she burst open, waves of pleasure surging through her. He cried out as he released, pushing deeper. After a few final thrusts, he stilled and nearly collapsed on top of her. He managed to hold his weight up with his elbows, his face hanging into her neck.

She panted, her arms going limp beside her, and her heart pounded harder than she'd ever thought it could. After a moment, he grunted and lifted himself up to roll off of her. He took the condom off and tossed it in the trash before resting on his back beside her.

"Holy shit," she gasped, still breathing heavily.

"'Holy shit' is right. That was fucking amazing."

She rolled to her side and put her head on his shoulder. His arm curled around her back, pulling her a little closer. She looked up and he met her eyes.

"Thank you."

He chuckled. "I should thank you, baby." He leaned down enough to kiss her lips.

She smiled and rested against him again, her fingers playing with the small patch of hair on his chest. There wasn't too much hair, but it was enough to be fun. The soft light of sunset was coming through his window, casting a sleepy haze on the already drowsy mood. She kissed his shoulder and ran her fingers over more of his caramel skin, admiring the color difference between it and her pale hand.

"Stay here with me," he said, breaking the silence.

She looked up at him, a little surprised. She wanted to, though. The thought of going back to her hotel room alone hurt. Without over thinking, she nodded. "Okay. But I need to call my mom and let her know."

He nodded and kissed her.

"In a minute, though. I don't think I can stand yet."

He laughed, a low and calm sound, and held her tighter. They were silent, content to stay in the moment of lethargy forever. As the minutes passed, the room became darker and Renesmee caught herself slipping from consciousness. She blinked a few times to wake up, knowing if she didn't let her mother know she was staying with Jacob, all hell would break loose when she did show up tomorrow.

She yawned and started sitting up. As she moved away from Jacob's warmth, she realized how cold it had gotten and she shivered. His hand ran down her arm, only raising more goosebumps.

"You okay?" he asked.

She smiled at him and nodded. "Yeah. I'm going to call my mom, though."

He sat up with her and kissed her lips. "Okay. Then come right back to me."

"Always."

She stood up and touched his cheek, his stubble a little more pronounced against her palm. She straightened her skirt and pulled it down where it was supposed to be, then pulled on her shirt before walking out of the room.

The house was dark, but she didn't have any trouble navigating. She found her way down the stairs and got her bag, pulling out her cell phone. She crossed one arm around her chest to try to fight off the cold, as she found her mother's number and hit the call button. She started pacing, hoping to at least keep from becoming an ice cube before she could make it back to Jacob.

"Where are you, honey? Is everything okay?"Bella asked when she answered.

"Hi, Mom. Everything's fine, and I'm at Jacob's. I'm, uh… I'm going to stay here with him."

"Are you sure, sweetie?"

She smiled when she heard her dad in the background, asking more than just a few questions about where she was and if she was okay.

"I'm sure, Mom. But I'll be back tomorrow, 'kay?"

Bella sighed. "Okay, honey. Be careful."

"I am. Love you. Tell Dad I love him."

"Love you, too."

She hung up her phone and tossed it back into her purse before sprinting back up the stairs. Jacob had gotten into the bed and held up the covers for her when she came in the room. She smiled and stripped her shirt and skirt before slipping in beside him. She snuggled up to him, relieved and so happy to be back in his warm arms.

"Goodnight, baby," he said softly, kissing her head.

"Goodnight, Jake." She stretched up to kiss his lips and settled back down. She knew now, without any room for doubt, that she wanted to be here with him forever. She only had a week left of her vacation, but she wasn't thinking about that right now. They would deal with that when the time came. She'd already decided that she would be going to Seattle University so she could be close to him. No matter what, she would always come back to him.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you to anyone and everyone who stayed with me through all the changes this story went through. Hopefully we're done with that, and we can have smooth sailing from here on out. :)

Thanks to PTB for getting everything squared away with the beta-ing of this story. Special thanks to DeeDreamer and itsange for their beta skills.

I still don't own anything.

Okay, so this chapter is kind of a transition. Also, beware the M rating and the sour lemons. :D Enjoy! Follow me on Twitter SheeWolf85. Sometimes I post teasers :)

* * *

Love and Lust

Chapter 3

Renesmee cracked one eyelid as she stretched, reaching toward Jacob's side of the bed. Her brow furrowed and she looked up when she didn't feel him. He was gone. She sat up and contemplated going to find him, but then she heard the shower.

She yawned and smiled to herself, suddenly wide awake with the thought of surprising him in the shower. It was just one of the many places they hadn't had sex yet, and she found she was eager to mark it off her list immediately. She stood up and giggled softly to herself. She was naked and their clothing was still scattered around the room from the previous night.

As of this morning, she had known Jacob a total of six days. They'd been dating four of those six days and had been together intimately almost as many times. The day after their first date had been hard for Renesmee. Her dad, a psychologist, had tried to reason with her using a lot of fancy words that he usually reserved for the office. She managed to survive the lecture with help from her mother and a 'where to have sex' list that was far from complete.

She stopped at the door to the bathroom, quietly opening it and praying she could be stealthy. The balmy, humid air of the bathroom felt good as she slipped inside and shut the door behind her. She bit her lip as she inhaled, a warm and pleasurable feeling going through her with the musky scent of Jacob's body wash. She could see the top of his head and, occasionally, his arms over the shower curtain, and just thinking about the water dripping down his skin made her body heat up.

She reached up and pulled the clips that had somehow survived the night from her hair and set them on the counter next to the condom she'd gotten from her purse. One of the clips dropped and made a little 'ping' sound as it hit the ceramic tile.

"Renesmee?"

His voice reverberated around her, and her body throbbed harder.

"Yeah, it's just me."

"Coming to join me?"

She could hear the smirk in his voice. She went to the curtain and peeked inside.

"Actually, yes."

She bit her lip as she took in the sight before her. His black hair was wet and mostly slicked back, but a few strands fell forward onto his forehead. His smooth, bronze skin glistened with moisture, and she watched a droplet of water slide down his toned stomach. It weaved back and forth over his muscles until it got lost in his pubic hair. One eyebrow rose when she noticed he was starting to get aroused.

"Are you just going to stare at me, or do I get to stare at you, too?"

She smirked and stepped into the shower. The spray was hot, and she attempted to position herself so she wasn't in the path of the water. She managed to escape most of it but her legs were hopeless. She tried to ignore the burn and focus her attention on Jacob. She put her hands on his chest and looked up to meet his eyes. His skin was hot, but it was a heat she could definitely handle.

"Good morning, beautiful," he said, wrapping an arm around her waist as he leaned down to kiss her.

"Good morning. I was a little surprised when I woke up without you." She faked a pout, and happily accepted the kiss he gave her to make up for his absence.

"I won't have a chance to get a shower after I take you home, so I had to take one early. And now, you get one, too." He stepped forward, putting her further under the water. Her hair protected her back, but she winced when the water hit her shoulders. Although she tried to stop it, her body automatically pushed into him, trying to get away from the heat. "You okay?"

"It's kinda hot." She felt like her skin was going to melt.

He immediately pulled her out of the water and leaned over to adjust the heat. "Is this better?" He pulled her back into it, and she sighed in relief when it was a bearable temperature.

"Yes, thank you."

He kissed her again, pushing her back until she was completely under the spray. He worked the water through her hair as the rest of her body became soaked. "You are so fucking sexy. Especially when you're wet." His hands ran up her sides to her breasts, making her shiver despite the heat. She looked up at him through her lashes as she lightly clawed his chest.

"I'm not the only one."

He raised one eyebrow and slid an arm around her waist to pull her closer. He leaned down just enough to kiss her ear, making her shiver.

"I want to fuck you, right now, in the shower."

His breath on her ear was warm in a different way, and she half gasped, half moaned when he licked her earlobe.

"I want you to fuck me, Jake."

He pulled back, and she kissed his shoulder quickly before turning to the curtain. His arm around her waist stopped her as she started pulling it back.

"Where are you going? I said I want you in the shower." He pulled her back against him and bit her shoulder, grinding his hips against her backside.

She moaned and contemplated just going with it, but her more responsible side won the fight. "I'm not leaving, Jake. I have a condom on the counter."

He kissed her once more and released her. "You're damn lucky, because I don't think I could have let you leave the room."

She smirked, knowing he was playing with her. She grabbed the condom quickly and handed it to him as she got back in the shower. He wasted no time ripping open the package and getting it on.

"How do you want me?" she asked. He took her arm and turned her around so she was facing the wall. She smiled to herself and put her hands up, holding herself steady as he bent his knees to position himself. Somehow she knew that she would never get used to him filling her. Every time, she felt like everything was as it should be; she was home.

As he moved, he swept her hair to the side and leaned in to kiss her cheek. He grunted and put one hand by hers on the wall for support. "I like it like this," he growled. His other hand slid over her body, the soft touch contrasting with the water beating down on them.

"Me, too, Jake." She rested her face against the wall. It was cold against her skin, and it only served to further heighten her senses.

He grabbed her hip and pushed against her harder, throwing his head back with a groan. The sound of it was nearly drowned out by the sound of the shower spray and their wet bodies slapping together. He took her shoulder with the hand that was on the wall.

"Fuck, baby. I'm gonna come." His hands gripped her tighter, and he pulled her into him as he finished. He drew out and leaned against her, resting his forearm against the wall for support. He kissed her temple and trailed his lips down to her cheek. She turned slightly to meet his lips.

"You didn't come."

She turned under him, raising her hands to hold his shoulders as she rested her back against the wall. "No, but that's okay. It was still amazing."

He kissed her lips again. "Do you want me to make you come?"

She bit her lip and contemplated his offer as she traced random patterns on his shoulders and neck. After a second, she shook her head. "No, it's okay. Don't expect me to come every time we have sex. It's kind of uncommon for a girl to orgasm all the time. Besides, I don't want to make you late for work."

He chuckled and leaned in to brush his nose along her jaw line. "I'm probably going to be late anyway, but I really don't care."

"Okay, then I don't want to make you any later than you're already going to be." She kissed his neck.

"I guess you do have a point. I should get moving. You sure you don't want it?"

She shifted and he stepped back so she could move. She turned the water off and smiled up at him.

"I'm sure, Jake. You don't know how much it means to me that you care, though." She felt like the luckiest woman alive.

He just shrugged and they got out of the shower. She bit her lip as he toweled himself off. A part of her wondered if it was too late to change her mind. An image of him kneeling on the ground before her as she sat on the bed with her legs spread flashed through her mind. He gave her a smirk and she blushed as she quickly wrapped her hair in a towel and grabbed her hair clips from the counter. He followed her to the bedroom. She decided she was going to have to start a new list. This one would be what positions or acts she'd like to do with him, and oral sex would be at the top of that list.

They got dressed, and she got her things together as he got ready for work. When they were done, they walked downstairs. Seth was in the kitchen, standing in front of the toaster, and smirked when Renesmee and Jacob walked in.

"Good morning, lovebirds," he said sarcastically.

Jacob ignored his brother as he turned to Renesmee and put his hands on her hips. "What do you want for breakfast?" he asked, all but pinning her against the counter.

"Sounded like she got a good dose of you for breakfast," Seth said. He turned when the toaster popped.

Jacob didn't turn around. "Shut up, Seth." He smiled at Renesmee as she blushed profusely.

"Seriously, you two ought to think about the others in this house before you go doing whatever the hell it was you did. I could hear you from down here."

Jacob kissed Renesmee quickly and turned around. Seth dashed out of the kitchen before Jacob could say anything. He sighed and turned back to Renesmee.

"Sorry."

She just shrugged and trailed her fingers up his arms. "I've heard brothers are like that."

He chuckled. "They are. All the damn time. So, what do you want to eat?"

"I'm actually not hungry right now."

"You should eat something, baby. 'Breakfast is the most important meal of the day' and all that."

"I know. And I will eat when I get hungry, I promise."

He sighed. "Okay." He kissed her quickly and grabbed a granola bar out of the cupboard before going to the living room. He glanced at the clock and turned toward the staircase.

"Seth, you ready yet? Time to get your ass to school. Brady's going to be here soon."

"Yeah," Seth called from upstairs. "Just getting my shoes on."

Renesmee double-checked her bag to make sure she had everything she needed. Seth ran down the stairs with his backpack.

"Try to keep your clothes on until you make it out the door, okay?" he said, dodging his brother. He ran out the door just as Brady, his friend as well as his ride to his summer classes, pulled up.

"Are you ready to go?" Jacob asked, turning to Renesmee.

"Yeah, I think so." Saying goodbye to him never got easier. She always felt like she was leaving home, not sure when she'd be back even if they made plans.

"I'm still invited to dinner tonight, right?" Jacob asked, gently touching her cheek.

She smirked. "Yes, if you still want to brave my dad."

"He doesn't scare me."

Jacob took her bag for her and they went out to the car.

"You say that now. Just wait until he's giving you all kinds of information you don't want or need."

He turned to her when they got in the car. "Like what?"

"Well, from the first second he sees you, he's going to be decoding every single movement you make. He's probably going to give you some kind of analysis and use technical terms to try to intimidate you."

"If he's as smart as you say he is, he'll realize pretty quickly that won't work."

Jacob leaned over and kissed her quickly before starting the car. She smiled and rested against the seat as he drove.

"Should I bring anything tonight?" he asked.

"No, you don't need to. Despite my dad's assurances that she can buy whatever she wants, my mom will probably be cooking. And she'll probably make enough to feed a small army."

He chuckled and pulled in to the hotel parking lot. "Okay. I'll be back here at seven."

Renesmee nodded and kissed him before reaching in the back to grab her bag. "Have a good day."

He touched her cheek and kissed her one more time. "You too, baby."

She got out of the car and waved quickly as she walked in the door. She was grinning to herself when she walked into the room.

"I'm back!" she called, closing the door behind her.

"Hi, honey. Did you have fun?" Bella asked, raising an eyebrow as she walked into the room. Renesmee blushed and nodded.

"Yes, it was fun."

"What did you do?"

"We… um… We ate dinner and watched a movie. And then we went to bed." She shrugged. It wasn't a total lie.

"What movie did you watch?"

She shrugged again, hesitating on her answer. She honestly couldn't remember what movie it had been. "It wasn't that good." Making out was much better, anyway.

Bella nodded, but Renesmee noticed the canny smirk on her mother's face.

"I see. Tell me, did you do anything that didn't involve sex?" Bella leaned on the counter, watching her daughter closely.

"We ate dinner…?"

"Anything else?"

Renesmee tried to think of something they'd done that didn't involve sex. "We slept."

Bella nodded again. "Okay. Well, honey, you do realize that you're going to have to do something with him that's not naked, right? And I don't mean dry humping. I mean an activity that is in no way sexual. Go mini-golfing or something. You're never going to know if you're really compatible if all you do is sleep with him."

Renesmee knew her mother had a point, but hearing it from her was only embarrassing. "But I feel so good when I'm with him. And I don't just mean the…sex." Her face burned as she said the word.

Bella pulled Renesmee into a hug and kissed the side of her head. "I know, honey. Just trust me on this, okay?"

Renesmee just nodded and let her mother hug her. "He's still coming over for dinner tonight. That's not sex related."

Bella laughed. "Nice try. Anything with your parents or his family doesn't count. Promise me you'll do something with him the next time you go see him."

Renesmee sighed and nodded. "I promise."

Bella kissed her daughter's head one more time and pulled away. Renesmee went into the kitchen and opened the fridge.

"Where's Dad?" she asked as she pulled out a yogurt.

"I made him go to the store for me this morning because I wanted to talk to you alone when you got back."

Renesmee nodded and smiled in thanks. Truthfully, she was grateful that her mother wanted to have that talk alone. Talking to her mother about her sex life was one thing; it became something completely different when her father added to the mix.

* * *

"What can I do to help?" Renesmee asked. Like she had predicted, her mother was cooking dinner. Bella turned to her and smiled.

"You can grate some cheese if you want."

Renesmee nodded and opened the fridge to get the cheese. As she moved the counter, Edward came out of the bedroom. So far, Renesmee had been able to avoid him. Ever since her first night spent with Jacob, he had been trying to get her to talk to him about the relationship. She kept her eyes down, refusing to make eye contact with him and initiate any kind of conversation. Despite her efforts, Edward leaned down next to her.

"How are you?" he asked.

She nodded, still not looking up. "I'm good. You?"

"Doing well. Are you excited for tonight?"

"Yes, I am. Very excited. How's this, Mom? Do you want more?" She turned from Edward to show her mother the plate.

"That's fine, honey. Now, do you want to chop some veggies?"

Renesmee nodded and set the plate aside to get the things she needed to start chopping. Bella handed her the things she wanted cut, and Renesmee kept avoiding eye contact with her dad as she got to work.

"He'll be here at seven, right?" Edward asked.

"Yep."

"And this time I get to meet him?"

Renesmee smirked. "Unless you want us to give you your dinner in the bedroom, then yes."

"Is there anything I should know beforehand?"

Renesmee finally looked up to meet his eyes. "He's not intimidated by anything I've said about you."

"What have you told him about me?"

She shrugged. "That you're going to watch and decipher his every move, and give him detailed analyses with big, fancy words to try to scare him away."

He chuckled. "Why should that intimidate him? Besides, I'm not going to give him detailed analyses with big, fancy words. Those types of analyses take time, and I'm just meeting him for the first time tonight."

"Sure. But you'll get your first impression and, undoubtedly, make your decision about whether or not he's good enough for me based on that first impression. You're a dad, you can't help it."

"Whatever my first impression of him might be, he's still not good enough for you. You're my little girl; therefore no man will be." He raised his eyebrows and kissed her head.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, yeah. Forgot about that part."

"How about this: as long as he's kind and courteous, and keeps his hands off you while he's here, I'll keep my judgments to myself."

Renesmee put the knife down and turned to him. "You really think you can do that?"

Edward put his hand over his heart, pretending to be hurt. "You don't think I can?"

"I guess if you're willing to try, I'm willing to have a little faith."

"Thanks, kid." He ruffled her hair and turned to Bella. Renesmee groaned and shook her head to get her hair out of her face, and turned back to the cutting board.

At seven o'clock, Renesmee was helping her mother put the finishing touches on the table when there was a knock at the door. She smiled brightly and skipped to answer it.

"Hi, Jacob," she said happily, standing back to let him in. He stepped in and leaned down to kiss her.

"Hey, baby. How are you?"

She closed the door and shrugged. "I'm good. How was work?" She led him into the dining area.

"Not bad at all." He took her hand and smiled at her when she looked up at him.

"Are you ready for this?" she asked.

He nodded. "Absolutely."

Bella came into the room and smiled brightly. "Hello, Jacob. It's nice to see you again."

"You, too. Renesmee told me you were cooking?"

Bella nodded. "Yes. She helped, though."

He smiled down at Renesmee. "It smells delicious."

"Thank you."

Renesmee tensed a little when Edward came into the room. She squeezed Jacob's fingers, determined to stay calm so everything went smoothly.

"Um, Dad, this is Jacob. And Jacob, this is my dad, Edward."

Jacob held out his hand and Edward shook it, casting a quick glance at Renesmee to show her he was going to behave.

"Nice to meet you, Sir," Jacob said politely.

Edward nodded. "You as well, Jacob."

They sat at the table and started dishing their plates, making light conversation as they ate. Edward asked Jacob questions about his family and his job, and Renesmee occasionally looked over at her dad to make sure he was keeping his promise. She was only a little surprised when he didn't make any comments about their relationship throughout the meal. When they were finished, Renesmee helped Bella clean things up as Jacob talked to Edward in the living room.

"I think that went well," Bella said as she put the plates in the sink.

Renesmee nodded. "I agree. I wonder what Dad really thinks of him, though."

Bella laughed. "You're curious, and yet you make him swear not to say anything."

"Not while Jacob's still here. I mean, he might like Jake just fine if we weren't together, but I know that our relationship is going to affect how Dad sees him." She shook her head and helped her mother finish getting things put away.

Both Jacob and Edward were still standing when she walked into the living room, but both were smiling as they talked. She breathed a sigh of relief, realizing she was nervous about how their private conversation might turn out. Jacob turned to her and put his arm around her shoulders as she went up to him.

Bella joined them shortly after. She sat down on the loveseat and gave Edward a pointed look. He smirked and sat down next to her, and Renesmee took Jake to the couch, sitting next to him. She leaned against him and he held her close, resting his cheek against the top of her head as they talked.

When it was time for Jake to leave, Renesmee got up with him.

"Thank you again for dinner, Mrs. Cullen; it was very good."

Bella smiled. "Please, call me Bella. And you're more than welcome."

Edward stood up and held out his hand.

"Thank you for coming, Jacob."

Jacob nodded and shook his hand. "My pleasure, Sir."

Renesmee stepped out into the hallway with Jacob and licked her lips. He leaned down and kissed her.

"I had a good time, baby."

She smiled and stood on her toes for another kiss. "Me too. But there's something I want to talk to you about."

He nodded and leaned against the wall and pulled her close to him. "What's up?"

She licked her lips again and sighed. "Well…it's something my mom made me promise I'd do."

He smirked. "What is it?"

"We have to do something that's not sex."

He chuckled. "Well, damn. What did you have in mind?"

She leaned into him and shrugged. "I don't know. She suggested miniature golf, but I don't know how much I like that idea."

"There's an awesome course not too far from here. Seth and I used to go all the time; it's actually pretty fun."

She looked up at him. "Do you want to do that?"

"Do you?"

She took a minute to think about it. She did want to take her mother's advice; she knew it was important to have more than a physical connection. She nodded. "Yes, I think I do."

He kissed her lips. "Okay. We'll do that tomorrow, okay? And depending on how we're doing after the game, maybe we can go see a movie or something."

She smiled brightly. "Thank you, Jacob."

"Anytime. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Have a good night."

He kissed her nose. "You, too."

She watched him walk away for a second before turning and going back inside the room. Edward and Bella were busy washing dishes in the kitchen, although Renesmee could tell it was turning out to be more of a game of who could get who the wettest as they splashed each other and laughed. She didn't interrupt; she just went to her room to daydream about Jacob and their upcoming date.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Okay, so before we get started, I have a few little notes.

First, Jake is a guy, and Renesmee is an 18 year old girl. Neither is extremely adept at expressing their feelings, even if Renesmee's dad is a psychologist, and she's probably better at it than most kids her age. She still has insecurities and feelings that can be hurt. And, like most people when their feelings are hurt, she just wants to hide. Who wants to throw everything in the pot and leave themselves exposed after already suffering a wound, even a self-inflicted one? That being said, don't take it too hard on Jake or Renesmee, kay? Yes, there's lots of inner turmoil (teenagers are nothing if not angsty, eh?), but when isn't there? I can promise that the conflict won't last long, so try to keep the faith?

Second, I wrote this story in third person because I thought it sounded better than first person. However, the POV is essentially Renesmee's. Just want that clear.

And finally, it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No, I'm not her. I know; I was disappointed, too.

Thanks so much to all of my readers; you are all the best :) Thank you also to PTB, and special thanks to Adt216 and itsange for their beta skills.

With that, let's jump right on in!

* * *

Love and Lust

Chapter 4

"You're doing great," Jacob said as he watched her get ready for another putt. "Just relax and don't try too hard."

"That works for you, because you're actually good at this." Renesmee smiled at him and turned her attention back to the golf ball. They'd been playing mini-golf for nearly an hour and were at the last few holes. When they first got there, Jacob had shown her how to swing the club to get the right amount of force behind the ball by standing behind her, wrapping his arms around her and holding her wrists. She had to remind herself a few times that this was a non-sex evening. No matter how aroused she got, she wasn't going to give in.

She pulled the club back and focused on the windmill to get her timing right. When she was sure she had it, she hit the ball and bit her lip as it rolled toward the hole. It slipped in, and she jumped up, turning toward Jacob.

"Finally!" she said, laughing. "After only three tries."

He shrugged and kissed her head. "You did good, baby."

They moved on and finished the last of the holes. Jacob won by a landslide, but he claimed he wasn't keeping score. He led the way back to the counter where they turned in their clubs.

"So what would you like to do now?" he asked, turning to her.

She shrugged. "I don't know. Yesterday you said something about seeing a movie?"

"We can do that if you want."

Renesmee nodded, and he took her hand, raising it up to kiss her knuckles.

"Let's go see if we can find one."

They walked up to the movie theater and looked at the list of movies.

"Do you want action, romance, drama, horror…? Take your pick." He looked down at her and waited for her to choose. She thought about it.

"Can we see that one about the girl in Europe?" She'd heard it was good, and somehow the thought of him watching a romance movie with her was more than a little thrilling.

"Sure. There's one playing in twenty minutes." He winked at her, and they walked up to the ticket counter. Once they had the tickets, they walked around for a little while, wasting time.

"Thank you for all of this, Jake," she said as they walked down the sidewalk.

He shrugged. "Thank you for coming with me."

She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder as they walked. When it was time, they went back into the building to get popcorn and drinks.

"Where do you want to sit?" he asked.

"I usually sit in the back, but we can sit up closer if you want."

"No, the back's fine. Lead the way."

She chose their seats and smiled brightly at him as they sat down. He put his arm around her shoulders, and she rested her head on him. He kissed her lips, deepening it briefly. He pulled away, and she snuggled as close to him as the seats would allow. There were only a few other people in the theater with them, and it felt almost like they were alone as the lights dimmed and the previews began.

Renesmee lost herself in the movie. Halfway through, she found herself rooting for the man she knew would win in the end, and silently telling the protagonist to suck it up and tell him that she loved him. During a pivotal scene, Renesmee realized something. As she watched the characters on screen share a passionate kiss, she turned and looked at Jacob. He was staring at her the way he'd stared at her in the restaurant the very first time she saw him. She smiled a small smile, wondering briefly how she had gone so long not knowing what this feeling was. Every single time she was with him, she felt it. It was security, trust, home… love. Now that she knew what it was, she wanted to say it.

His fingers gently rubbed her arm, and he leaned close to her, giving her a small kiss. As much as she wanted to, saying it for the first time as they watched a movie in the middle of a dark theater didn't feel right. She wanted to say it as they snuggled together in his bed, taking advantage of the warm, comfortable glow that love gave them.

A few minutes later, she smiled to herself when he bent forward and ran his nose over her jaw line by her ear. She shivered the way she did every time he got close to her like that. He kissed the back of her jaw, and she closed her eyes as she licked her lips and tried not to moan. As he opened his mouth and licked the delicate skin under her ear, she turned her head to look at him. He covered her mouth with his, pulling her a little closer with his arm around her shoulders.

She kissed him for a second, enjoying his taste and the fire in the pit of her stomach that erupted any time they got remotely physical. After a moment, she pulled away and tried to go back to the movie. He chased her lips, leaning in and kissing her deeply again. She put her hand on his cheek and broke the kiss, meeting his eyes as she rubbed her thumb over his stubble.

The desire to tell him that she loved him was almost too much for her. She refused to tell him here; it was too impersonal.

"You are so sexy," he whispered softly, going in for another kiss.

She smiled to herself and pulled back once more. "Jake…" Her hand on his cheek stopped him from kissing her again

"What is it, baby?" he asked, raising his hand to play with her hair.

"I want to watch the rest of the movie." She smiled and gave him one last, light kiss before turning in her seat to face the movie. She heard him sigh as he leaned back, his fingers still playing with her hair. She leaned in to rest her head on his shoulder, and his hand went to her arm. She bit her lip as his fingertips grazed over skin, destroying her focus on the movie.

She glanced up at him, expecting to smile and maybe kiss his jaw, but she was surprised to find him leaning his head back, staring at the ceiling.

"Jake, are you okay?" she asked. He raised his head and looked down at her.

"Yeah, baby, I'm fine." He kissed her lips quickly, and then leaned his head back again.

She kissed his shoulder and turned back to the movie. It was winding down, tying up all the loose ends, when she noticed he had started bouncing his knee and his fingers were tapping out an irregular beat against the armrest. She tried to ignore it, but all the same she was worried that he wasn't enjoying himself anymore.

He leaned forward almost immediately after the end credits started rolling. The other moviegoers got up and started leaving as well.

"Well, it wasn't horrible," he said. "Although, the best part was kissing you."

She smiled and stood up. A small part of her was scared that he wouldn't want to do it again. He helped her gather their garbage, and they left. It was dark when they walked outside, and Renesmee took Jake's hand as they went to his car.

"Back to my house?" he asked.

He seemed back to his normal self, so she pushed aside her worry and nodded. "Yes. I'm ready to relax with you."

He smirked and opened the car door for her. "Me too." He kissed her lips quickly before she ducked inside.

At his house, Jacob took her hand and led the way up to his room, carrying her bag for her. Renesmee was eager to get into bed with him and tell him what she'd discovered that night, and she started digging out her pajamas as soon as the bedroom door closed. As she changed, he stripped off his shirt and pants, getting into the bed in his boxers. She climbed in with him, snuggling her body close to his and resting her head on his shoulder.

She was a little nervous, not sure exactly how she wanted to tell him. Before she could decide, he turned on his side and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her up against him as he hooked his fingers under her chin to make her look at him. He kissed her, deepening it immediately. She decided on how she would say it as his hand trailed fire down her shoulder and back to her hip. She started pulling away, but he rolled her onto her back, positioning himself over her without breaking the kiss. He pulled her into him as he drove his hips into her.

Renesmee had always loved the feel of his arousal nudging into her hip, but right now she had something important to say. She pushed on his chest, and he leaned back enough to look into her eyes.

"I want you so fucking badly," Jacob said softly, thrusting his hips into her again.

She wasn't sure exactly how to tell him what she wanted. She didn't want to lead him on and make him think he was going to get sex, but at the same time, she didn't want to ruin the mood. She was suddenly confused, unsure of how to bring back the pure delight she'd first felt in the movie theater.

He kissed her deeply again and ran his hand under her shirt to touch her breast. As he pushed into her again, her stomach tightened with a new emotion she'd never experienced with Jake before. She didn't want this kind of touch, but she was almost afraid to ask him to stop. She knew he wouldn't hurt her, but she was so afraid that the mood would be destroyed and she wouldn't get the chance to tell him that she loved him.

She broke the kiss and put her hands on his shoulders. He started kissing her down her throat as his hand skimmed down her side, slipping under the waistband of her bottoms. Renesmee gathered her courage and pushed up on his shoulders.

"Jake, stop please."

He raised his head and met her eyes. "You okay, baby?"

She nodded. "Yes, but…I…um…."

Jacob kissed her lips softly and gently stroked the exposed skin of her side. "What is it?"

Renesmee took a breath and pushed down a wave of fear. "I don't really want to have sex tonight."

He stared at her blankly for a second. "You don't?"

She licked her lips and shook her head.

"Oh." He sucked in a deep breath and moved off of her, lying on his back. "Okay."

She turned on her side and moved up to him, hoping they could still have their moment. He kissed her forehead, but otherwise didn't touch her. The arm she was laying on didn't curl around her the way it usually did, and his other hand stayed down at his side. She bit her lip, wondering if she dared say the words she so wanted to say.

"Are you tired?" he asked, staring up at the ceiling.

The moment was gone. She tried not to sigh in disappointment as tears prickled in her eyes.

"Yeah, kinda."

Jacob sat up, taking her with him, and started situating them under the blankets. When he lay back down, his arms held her, but he didn't pull her close to him the way she was used to. Uncertainty twisted in her gut as she rested against him. He reached over to his nightstand and turned off the lamp.

"Night, Renesmee."

She waited for him to lean down to kiss her, but it didn't happen. She settled for kissing his shoulder instead.

"Goodnight."

As she laid there, she began thinking over their night. Where had she gone wrong? Why wasn't she relishing in the serenity and exhilaration of expressing her love for him? She thought about how disappointed he looked when she stopped kissing him in the movie theater, and when she stopped him from making love to her. A curious thought ran through her head, and as much as she tried to squish it immediately, it grew. What if the only reason he'd gone through with the date idea was because he thought he had to in order to get more sex?

And if that was the case, did it mean that sex was all she meant to him? The thought churned her stomach. She swallowed tightly and looked up at him. He had his eyes closed, but his breathing was shallow. She didn't think he was asleep yet.

"Jake?"

He opened his eyes and looked down at her. "Yeah?"

Renesmee leaned up on her elbow and kissed his lips, slightly relieved when he kissed her back. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, baby. What is it?"

She kissed him again, smiling to herself when his fingertips brushed along her shoulder blade. "What kinds of things do you want to do with me?"

He smirked. "Did you change your mind?"

Her eyes widened when she realized how her question sounded. "No. I'm sorry, that's not exactly what I wanted to ask." Her stomach clenched when he looked dismayed again. "I guess I'm trying to ask you what all do you want?"

Jacob sighed and rubbed her back. "There's a lot that I want, baby. But I really don't think now is a good time to talk about it."

"Why not?"

He hesitated for a few seconds before answering. "Because… Well, for one, I still want you. For two, talking about it only makes me want you more. And for three, what's the point in talking about it if we're not going to be doing anything tonight?"

Disappointment flooded through her as she realized that he thought she was still talking about sex, and she suddenly felt extremely inadequate. She left a lot to be desired. She nodded and lay back down, a new fear ripping through her stomach. If she told him that she loved him now, he would laugh at her. He'd say she needed to get a grip on reality.

She rested her head on his shoulder, a tiny part of her thankful that she hadn't told him yet. She was embarrassed enough as it was.

His fingers trailed up and down her arm, and all she could think about was how she was usually so turned on by that simple touch. He knew how to work her body. He'd learned, because she was so eager to let him. What would happen when she wasn't so eager anymore, or when she went back to Arizona at the end of the week? Would he keep trying and wait for her to come back, or would he move on to the next girl that threw herself at him?

The thought of his fingers caressing another woman did her in. Her tears spilled over despite her attempts at keeping them in. She tried to hide it. She didn't want him to know how badly all of this hurt. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop the tears from falling onto his chest.

"Are you crying?" he asked, looking down at her. She shook her head, but winced when she had to sniffle.

"Renesmee, what's wrong?" He turned on his side and made her look at him. "Tell me, please."

She took a deep breath, telling herself that she needed to say something. Her throat began to close with the fear eating at her gut, and instead of forcing herself to be brave, she chickened out. She felt like her whole body was frozen as she rolled over and climbed out of the bed. She heard him call out to her, but she ducked her head and walked out of the room.

She tried to be quiet as she went quickly down the stairs. The chilly air gave her goosebumps, and she rubbed her arms as she walked to the door. She stopped before opening it, realizing she was still in her pajamas with no shoes, and it was a long walk back to the hotel. Her hand was on the door handle when she heard the stairs creaking softly with Jacob's steps. She sniffled and put her forehead against the door, wishing she could become invisible so she wouldn't have to face him.

"I know how often women say that men are denser than bricks, Renesmee, but you gotta help me out here. What did I do?"

His words only tore a new hole in her heart. She hadn't expected him to take the blame; it was her that was flawed. It was her that fell in love and wanted more.

She took a deep breath and turned away from the door to look at him. He had stopped at the foot of the stairs, and she hated herself when she felt her normal heated reaction to seeing him in just his boxers. Her heart hurt as she shook her head. "Nothing, Jake. You didn't do anything."

He walked to her, putting his hand over hers that was still on the handle. "Then why did you run away?"

She closed her eyes, and a sob escaped as she realized she had only made things worse for herself.

"Please, baby. I need to know how to fix this." He pulled her away from the door, trying to wrap his arms around her.

She pushed away, going against every instinct and desire she had to be close to him, and shook her head again. "It really isn't anything you did, Jake. You can't fix it because it was my mistake." She had already claimed it, but it still hurt to say it aloud.

He caught her arm. "What mistake? You didn't do anything wrong."

She didn't know what to think now. She was starting feel sick to her stomach for a whole new reason. Home wasn't home anymore. Now she knew the truth; she knew that she was just the means to his end. She couldn't begrudge him for it, though. She was a big girl, able to make her own decisions, and had given him permission and encouragement to do everything he'd ever done with her. Renesmee knew he cared for her, but she also knew there was a difference between caring for her and loving her.

"I did everything wrong." She walked away again, and this time he let her go. Jacob stayed behind her, following her as she walked back up the stairs.

"Can't you tell me?" he asked as he shut the bedroom door behind him.

She sniffled and started picking up her clothing from earlier. She glanced at him, not sure if she wanted to get changed with him in the room. Even though he had seen every part of her, she felt wrong as she contemplated getting naked now. She gave into her fear again and went into the bathroom to change. She heard him groan as she shut the door.

Her jaw trembled as she changed. She took her time, not ready to give up their relationship yet. As much as she wanted to hold onto it, she knew she was clinging to something that didn't exist anymore. Something that hadn't ever actually existed.

Jake was sitting on the bed, completely dressed, when she left the bathroom. He looked up at her as she put her pajamas back in her bag, and the look on his face made her wish she could just take it all back. She wished she could go back to the movie theater and not stop him from kissing her. Or go back to earlier and let him make love to her. Anything to erase the look of pain on his face now.

He stood up and walked to her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Talk to me, Renesmee."

She knew there was going to be no escape from telling him. He needed a reason for her behavior now, even if it was a reason he was going to laugh at and think her pathetic for. She realized she had started shaking when he pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her.

"Please, honey? Please just say something." He held her tighter and leaned down to kiss her head.

She pursed her lips, not so sure now if the pain in her chest was from knowing she was going to have to leave and not come back or from the need to tell him that she loved him. The words echoed around in her head, pulsing with the beat of his heart.

"Goddammit, Renesmee, this is ridiculous." Jacob held her shoulders and pushed her back enough to meet her eyes. "Just fucking say something." He shook her a little as he spoke, his hands gripping her arms almost too tightly.

The intensity in his eyes broke her. A sob broke through, and she cringed as she heard the words tumbling out of her mouth.

"I love you."

The release was not what she thought it should be. It felt so good, but at the same time burned so badly. Renesmee closed her eyes and waited for the storm. Nothing happened for a long moment. His hands kept their tight hold on her, and he kept her away from his body.

"What?"

She swallowed to keep her sobs at bay. "I love you."

"Okay, but I need you to tell me what is wrong right now."

She shook her head and finally opened her eyes. "That _is_ what's wrong."

She looked up at him, and his eyes seemed to bore through her as he silently stared. After a few minutes, he released her arms. He took a step back and looked down at the floor for a second. When he met her eyes again, she saw the anger in them.

"That's what's wrong? You love me?" His voice was low and grainy, and she shivered both from desire and anguish.

She nodded meekly, scared of what could happen next.

"What the hell was today about, then? Was there any point at all in taking you out?"

"I'm sorry, Jake. I don't know—"

"No, don't be sorry." He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair as he stared at the floor again. She was frozen to her spot; she couldn't move, or breathe, or speak. She could only stare at him and watch the last pieces of her home break apart.

"I guess you want me to take you home?" he asked.

Her heart ached at the sound of his voice. He sounded hurt. "Jake—"

"Are you ready to go?"

She licked her lips and chickened out again, pushing aside the urge to scream and beg him to forget everything that had happened that day. She just nodded instead, hating herself.

He sighed and got his keys from the nightstand as she slipped into her shoes. He stopped at the bedroom door, staring at the handle for a long moment before he turned back to her.

"For what it's worth, Renesmee…I love you, too."

* * *

A/N: dun, dun, dun. Leave a review, and you'll get a juicy teaser of the next chappie :) (Remember that I can only reply to signed reviews).


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thank you so much to my wonderful readers. You are all amazing. The response to the last chapter was great! I should do cliffies more often, lol. Thank you also to PTB, and to betas SueBob and Diana Wolfskill. Much appreciation!

I own nothing.

I have a question for all of you at the end of this chapter, so please read the A/N down there :)

With that, here is what you have all been waiting so patiently for! Enjoy!

* * *

Love and Lust

Chapter 5

Jacob opened the door, not waiting for her to respond, and walked out. Renesmee listened to his footsteps and the creak of the stairs, frozen in her place as his words echoed in her head. _I love you, too_.

"Are you coming?" he asked from the stairs.

She wrapped her arms around her stomach, feeling sick. It was so unfair of him to say those words. She closed her eyes and tilted her head down, willing the tears and nausea away.

The stairs creaked again, and a second later she felt his fingers on her arm.

"It'll be okay."

She sniffled and shook her head. "I don't see how."

He sighed again, and she stiffened when he wrapped his arms around her.

"You'll see. It gets better."

"What gets better?"

She felt him shrug around her, and he seemed to hesitate. When he spoke, his voice was hard with a shaky undertone that confused her. "You're young. As you get older, you'll see that things aren't as…critical as you think they are now."

His words hurt. She knew it really wouldn't get any better―that she'd love him for the rest of her life.

She pushed her face into his shirt and took a deep breath of his heady scent. Her arms wrapped around his waist, and she gripped the back of his t-shirt. More tears spilled when he tightened his hold on her.

"I love you so much," she whispered, wishing it was enough.

He started pulling back, and her hands clutched at his shirt.

"Come on, honey."

She hesitated, unwilling to let go of him yet.

"Renesmee, come on. Let go."

She shook her head, stubbornly refusing to let the moment die. He sighed and stopped trying to get away from her.

"Do you want to go home tonight?"

She shook her head again, knowing she was only setting herself up for more heartache.

"What the hell are we doing?"

She didn't reply. She didn't even know what she was doing. All she knew was that she wanted to hold on for as long as physically possible.

"Will you tell me something, baby?" he asked, his hands running through her hair. She looked up at him curiously. "Why does it hurt so much?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, loving me is obviously hurting you. I want to know why."

She sniffled and put her forehead back on his chest. "Because I know what I am to you."

He paused for a long moment before leaning down to kiss her head. "I don't think you do."

She shook her head but refused to pull back. "I'm just here for you to have sex with me, Jake. You don't know how much I wish I could make that okay."

"Do you really think that's all I want from you?"

"I asked you, Jake."

His body stiffened, and he tried again to push her back. "I never said that." His arms were too strong for her this time, and she whimpered when her fingers lost their grip on his shirt.

"You didn't need to. I got the message loud and clear." She sniffled, hating the way her voice made it sound like she blamed him. He took a step away from her, and she felt cold.

"What message? You asked me what I wanted."

She wrapped her arms around her stomach, wishing she could disappear. "I guess I didn't realize there are a lot of things I'm not giving you."

He groaned. "Fucking hell. Just because I want to try new things doesn't mean I'm not happy with what we do."

She sniffled, trying hard to let his words make her happy. Instead, she only felt worse.

"What do you want me to say, Renesmee?"

"Nothing. I don't want you to say anything you don't really feel." As much as she wanted to hear him say that he loved her―truly loved her―she knew it would only hurt worse when she knew it wasn't true.

"So is this it, then?" he asked, irritated. "Are we through?"

"I'm so sorry. I can't tell you how much I wish I could just…forget how I feel."

He took a deep, unsteady breath, and she hated herself for making him hurt. She watched him walk to the bed and sit on the edge. He was silent for a long time, and she wasn't sure what to do. She kept her eyes on him as she rested his head in his hands. She wanted to go to him but was too afraid of the possibility of rejection.

"You really wish that?" he said finally, his voice grainy and worn out. He looked up at her, and her chest squeezed tighter when she saw the tears in his eyes. She felt the pressure of panic building throughout her body and wished she had somewhere to hide.

"God, I'm sorry, Jake. I wish I could take it all back and just be okay with what we had. I'm sorry for wanting more. I really am."

"Wanting more what, Renesmee? Will you just tell me and stop being so goddamn confusing?"

She was afraid to say it again. "I told you how I feel."

He sighed and stood up, and she winced when he threw his hands in the air. "Alright, I get it. You told me, and I'm an asshole for not understanding. Let's get you back so you can work on forgetting how you feel about me."

"You're not an asshole."

"Then what am I? Obviously not what you want anymore."

"You are what I want. You're everything I want."

He growled quietly. "Will you stop it? Please, just fucking stop it. Either you want me, or you don't. Which is it?"

She sniffled and wiped her eyes, pushing down a string of irritation. "I want you."

"Then what the fuck are we doing? Why are we fighting right now? You want me, and I want you. Isn't that enough?"

She rolled her eyes, half-wondering if he'd even heard a word she'd said. "I wish it was."

"How do I make it enough, Renesmee? What do you need me to do?"

She huffed and furrowed her brow. "Isn't it me that's not enough for you?"

He stopped and ran his fingers through his hair. "Stop fucking with my head, goddammit."

"I'm not fucking with your head, Jacob. You're twisting up everything I say." She tried to keep her voice down, knowing Leah and Seth were sleeping, but it was difficult when he was turning it all back on her.

He growled again and balled his fists. "You're contradicting yourself every time you open your mouth. What the hell do you want me to do?"

She felt like stomping her foot and screaming. "What do you want to do, Jake?"

"Oh, fuck! No, this is enough. No more bullshit. If you want to go home, then let's go. If not, then stop acting like I know what the fuck you're talking about and just tell me."

Her anger and irritation was suddenly greater than her fear, and she found herself yelling and unable to censor her words.

"I love you, Jacob. I love you and I want so much more than sex. I was going to tell you when we got back from the movie, but then you wanted sex and I didn't, and it didn't feel right anymore. I'm terrified of what's going to happen now that you know how I feel about you. Especially when you want more than I can give you physically. I'm scared that I'm going to go back to Arizona next weekend, and you'll find someone else. You said you'd wait for me, but that was before you knew I wanted more. You're going to get impatient and decide you don't want me anyway." She held up her hand when he opened his mouth to speak and started pacing in front of him as she continued.

"I know I'm young, Jake, and I know a lot of people would think I'm crazy, but I know where I want to be. From the first moment I was with you, I knew it. I didn't realize it was love until tonight, but every time I'm with you—sex or no sex—I feel it. I love you so much, and I feel sick knowing I ruined it all."

She wiped her eyes and thought about running out of the room again to avoid the reactions she feared the most. She was dressed now with her shoes on; she could do it. Before she could take a step toward the door, Jacob's hands gripped her shoulders, and he made her look at him.

His eyes were dark and intense, and she felt a little sicker from the pain she saw there. "Tell me why you think I don't want more. I never said all I want is sex."

She sniffled. "I asked you, Jake. I asked what you wanted, and you said there's a lot you want. A lot I'm not giving you."

He didn't let go of her, and a part of her wished he'd either let her run or hold her so tightly she wouldn't be able to breathe. Instead, he kept her at arm's length as he stared at the floor between them.

"You were asking me what I wanted from this relationship, weren't you?" He didn't look up.

She nodded, somehow aware that he couldn't see her, but too afraid to speak up. She wasn't sure if she could hope it was all a misunderstanding.

"Fuck…" He let go of her arms and took two steps back, still not meeting her eyes. "I really fucked this up, didn't I?" He ran his fingers through his hair and turned from her, moving slowly to the bed. He sat on the edge and bent down to put his face in his hands. "God, I am an asshole."

She sat next to him and put a hand on his arm.

"Please don't say that, Jake. You're not an asshole."

He stood up and walked away from her, stopping by the door to the bathroom. He rested one hand on the frame while the other gripped his hair.

"I'm not? I just take something that's not supposed to be about sex and make it that anyway? God, I thought you were asking me what things I'd want to try with you. I didn't mean to hurt you."

She realized, as she looked at him, that it really had been a misunderstanding. As she thought over the events that had taken place since they came back from the movie, she realized how many things she'd messed up. She stood up and went to him, reaching up to pry his hand out of his hair. He didn't fight her, but he didn't move to look at her either. "This is as much my fault as it is yours, Jake. Probably more. You can't take all the blame."

"All that shit you said about how you feel like you belong here…I feel it, too."

He was almost whispering, but she caught the words and smiled to herself. She took a small step closer to him and reached up to make him look at her. He met her eyes, and she smiled.

"Can we start over? Can I ask you again, and this time I'll be more specific?"

He smiled a sad smile and nodded. "Sure. I won't be an idiot this time."

She bit her tongue and just led him back to the bed where they sat down. She took a deep breath, knowing that it could have dire consequences if she hesitated now.

"What do you want from this relationship?" she asked, nervous and still preparing herself for devastation.

He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head. "Everything, baby. This whole telling you how I feel thing isn't easy for me, but I want it all. All that stuff you said about belonging and not giving a shit what other people thought; I know what you mean." He hesitated for a second before letting out a deep sigh. "I love you. I just want to be with you. I don't know what the fuck is going to happen when you go back to Arizona, but if I have to, I'll follow you."

She smiled brightly and put her head on his shoulder. "I love you, too. And you won't have to follow me. I'm still planning on going to Seattle University."

She looked up at him and he gave her a smirk. "That's good." He kissed her lips.

A small wave of the euphoria she'd wanted so badly to feel before rose in her chest, and she scooted closer to him. "You really love me?" she asked, a small part of her unsure if it believed things could turn out so perfectly. She looked up at him and waited.

He sighed and furrowed his brow. She waited as he hesitated on what he wanted to say.

"Be patient with me, baby. I'm not good at this."

She smiled. "I'm not in any hurry, Jake."

He nodded and kissed her lips again. He looked down and almost started speaking a few times before leaning back on the bed. His arm pulled her down with him, and she snuggled herself up to him.

"I'm sorry I made you think I only wanted sex. I guess I thought you understood how I felt when I touched you. It's the easiest way for me to show you. I really do love you."

She kissed his neck. "I'm sorry I freaked out without talking to you. I was too scared."

He turned on his side and pulled her closer. "I'll try to say it, baby. But it's not easy for me."

She kissed him and ran her hand up his arm. "That's okay. I promise I won't expect you to say it all the time. Just…sometimes would be nice."

"I can promise sometimes."

"Will it bother you if I say it a lot?"

"No, honey. I like hearing it."

She nodded and wriggled even closer to him. "I love you."

He kissed her deeply as his hands slid over her back and side. Her fingers gripped his shirt, holding him against her. The warm glow she had been looking for was finally there, and it was better than she thought it would be.

"Can we just lie here?" she asked, biting her lip.

He kissed her lips gently. "Sure. Do you want to get changed again?"

She smiled and nodded. He released her and they got up, changing in the same room. She skipped the bottoms and climbed back into bed with him with just her tank top and panties.

"You know you're tempting me, right?" he said playfully as he got them under the covers and turned off the lamp.

She smiled and kissed his shoulder. "Yes, but I have faith you can resist."

His arms wrapped around her and held her tightly. "For you, I will do my best."

"I love you, Jacob."

He kissed her forehead. "I love you, too."

She smiled brightly, finally relaxing and letting herself believe this relationship had a chance. It felt like heaven. Her arm around his chest squeezed him.

"I am so happy right now." She felt like squealing and jumping up and down like a kid. She leaned up on her elbow and kissed his lips. "Are you happy?"

He smiled and rubbed her shoulder, his fingertips grazing lightly over her skin. "More than I can say."

She shivered from his touch and kissed him one more time before settling herself back down. She sighed contentedly as she rested against him, lightly playing with the hair on his chest.

The room was dark and peaceful. They were both comfortably silent as they shared soft, loving touches. She kissed his neck, and he turned his head to kiss her lips. It wasn't long before her eyelids began drooping. Her fatigue somehow added to the moment, and she kissed his chest softly.

"I'm tired," she said quietly. He kissed her hair and rubbed her arm.

"Go to sleep then, honey."

She nodded. "Goodnight, Jake. I love you."

He kissed her hair again and squeezed her shoulders lightly. She smiled and let herself drift off to sleep.

* * *

Renesmee nuzzled her face in Jacob's shoulder as she woke up. She was a little cold and pulled the covers over her shoulders as she snuggled closer to him. The room was still dark, no sunlight coming through the window yet.

He groaned in his sleep and turned his face toward her, his hand skimming over her back as he reached up to rub his eye. She smiled to herself and looked up at him, wondering if he was going to wake up. His eyes didn't open. He mumbled incoherently, and his arm dropped back down behind her. She stifled a giggle, partially hoping he woke up and kissed her. At the same time, she wanted this moment where he looked so peaceful to last forever.

She stretched up to kiss his lips. He didn't respond to the first kiss, but she felt his lips pucker a tiny bit at the second. She kissed his jaw, his stubble tickling her lips as she moved down to his throat. He mumbled again and turned his head, giving her more room to play. She smiled wickedly to herself and opened her mouth, slowly and carefully dragging her tongue across his salty skin. She kissed the wet area and ran her fingers down his throat to his bare chest.

She pushed the blanket down again and slowly leaned up on her elbow, admiring him as he slept. His body was everything she could have asked for, and now she knew she had his heart as well. The thought sent another ribbon of excitement and contentment through her. This man was _hers_. She smiled to herself and leaned down to kiss his nipple. He moaned softly, and she took it as encouragement as she kissed him again, this time opening her mouth.

She lightly scratched her fingers down his chest to his stomach and grinned when his skin shivered beneath her touch. She continued scratching him gently as she kissed and licked his chest, occasionally glancing up at his face to see if he was waking up yet. She knew he slept like a rock, but she was half hoping she could wake him up with her advances.

She kissed a trail down his stomach to his navel, and stifled a blast of excitement when he shifted his hips. She held her wild hair back and looked up at him, only mildly disappointed when he was still unconscious. She went after his stomach again, this time using her teeth. He shifted his hips again and moaned but didn't wake up.

She decided to get brave and slowly trailed her hand over his boxers. She wasn't surprised to find him erect, and she lightly trailed her fingers over him. He whimpered, and one hand went to hers as he moved his hips again, pushing her hand into him. She smiled and gently moved his hand, and then wrapped her fingers around him through the fabric. There was a small part of her that hoped he stayed asleep now; she wanted to know how far she could go without waking him up.

She carefully rearranged herself so she could reach him. Pushing her hair out of the way again, she leaned down to kiss him over his boxers. After another glance to make sure he was still sleeping, she gently slid her fingers under the waistband and started easing them down. She licked her lips and trailed a finger over him, contemplating what she was about to do. She had thought about oral sex with him, but this would be their first time. A part of her worried he would be upset, but another part of her argued that he'd probably just ask her to do it again sometime.

She smiled wickedly before trailing her lips up his length, looking up at him as she did. He whimpered, but didn't stir. She took him in her hand, carefully stroking him. Although she hadn't been a virgin before him, she'd never touched a man like this before. She was surprised at how soft his skin was in comparison to how hard he'd become. She licked her lips and glanced up one more time before leaning over him. She held herself up with one hand on the mattress beside his hip while her other hand continued to caress him, and she opened her mouth to taste him. She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but she was pleasantly surprised to find it wasn't much different than other parts of his skin. She closed her lips around him and slowly slid down, making sure her teeth didn't touch him. Her hair fell around her, and she found that she really liked the image of her copper strands resting against his legs and stomach.

He groaned loudly when the tip hit the back of her throat, and she shoved her hair back as she turned enough to look up at him. He didn't wake, but he mumbled as she moved back up, and she was amused to hear her name mixed in with incoherent words.

She made a few more passes before licking him from his crown to the base, using just the tip of her tongue. She squeezed her legs together as she lightly licked his thigh. She wanted him madly.

She put her hand on his stomach and shook him gently. "Jacob, wake up."

He whimpered softly and turned his head toward her, but his eyes remained closed. She shifted to take off her shirt, and it fell to the floor beside the bed. She shook him again as her other hand went back to his thigh. "Baby, wake up. I need you right now." She reached up and patted his arm.

He took a deep, lazy breath, and his hands reached up to rub his face. His body froze for a second when Renesmee moved her hand on him. Finally, he pulled his hands away from his face and looked down. His eyes went from her hand to her breasts before finally meeting hers.

"Hi," she said sheepishly, a little embarrassed about being caught like this. At the same time, she found it immensely arousing.

"Hi." He still seemed stunned. She lifted her hand higher and bit her lip as he stared at her. "Uh…good morning?"

"Good morning."

His hand went to her hair, brushing a few stray strands out of her face. "Am I dreaming right now?"

"No, you're awake now." She continued moving her hand, impressed when it felt like he grew even harder.

His eyes flickered to her hand again. "What are you doing?"

"I woke up and tried to get you up with kisses. But then I discovered this, and I just couldn't stop myself."

"You should never stop yourself. God, Renesmee…. I dreamed you were touching me."

"Did you dream about my mouth on you?" she asked, blushing. She looked down, unable to meet his eyes.

"Yeah, actually I did." He hissed as he guided her hand higher with his hand on her wrist, encircling his tip before moving back down.

She looked up and forced herself to meet his eyes, a part of her strangely worried about what he would think. His eyes were boring into her, need and lust burning in them.

"Do you want me to do it again?"

"Yes, please," he begged. He threw his head back and released her wrist.

As she leaned over him, one hand went to her hair and held it back from her face. She turned enough to look up at him as she slid her mouth down. His head fell back again and he growled, the hand in her hair clenching into a tight fist.

"Fuck, Renesmee. Right there, yes." His hips moved, and he hissed again when she slid her hand between his legs to touch his balls. His words and movements encouraged her, and she tried to take him in further.

"You have no idea how sexy you are right now."

She moved back and licked his tip. "I want you."

He nodded and released her hair. "Come here." He kicked his boxers off as she slid her panties over her hips and threw them off the side of the bed. When the last of their clothing was gone, he took her arm and gently urged to get on top.

"I don't know what I'm doing, Jake." She was nervous, but she tried to trust that he wouldn't laugh at her.

He sat up and kissed her lips. "I'll help you."

She nodded and lifted herself enough to let him position them. He took her hips and guided her down, and she moaned as he filled her. Home was clearer this time; she could feel it everywhere.

"I love you," she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

He kissed her deeply and growled, his fingers digging into her skin as he showed her what to do.

"Is this okay?" she asked, burying her face in his neck. His warm, spicy scent went straight through her, arousing her further.

One arm wrapped around her back and helped her move against him harder. "God, this is perfect. So fucking good."

She kissed his throat and moaned when he started shifting his own hips. "Like that. Jesus Christ... harder, baby."

She pushed herself into him, amazed at how much she could feel. As the tension in her body grew tighter, she remembered something.

"Jake?" she said breathlessly, not stopping their motion. He grunted in response and kissed her cheek. "We forgot a condom."

His hands gripped her hips and slowed her down. "Oh, shit. Honey, I'm sorry."

She shook her head and put her finger over his lips. "It's okay. Will you please just pull out when you come?"

He nodded and kissed her finger. "Of course."

She began moving again, leaning into him and trying to get their rhythm back. His arms were needy as he held her close and pulled her down harder. He suddenly stopped her movement, pulling her as close as he could, and threw his legs over the side of the bed. Before she could ask what he was doing, he stood up with her and turned to lay her on her back. He bent over her and began thrusting again, holding her behind her knees. She threw her head back and put her hands over his on her legs, gripping his fingers as she moaned loudly.

"Fuck, baby," he growled. "Come for me, Renesmee."

One hand moved to where they were joined and rubbed her gently. The extra sensation made her dizzy with pleasure, and she arched her back as she cried out. Her tension peaked, and her fingers gripped the bedspread tightly as her body shook with her release.

He pulled out and grabbed himself, groaning loudly as he leaned over her to finish. He kissed her lips and put his forehead on hers.

"I love you, Jake," she said softly, too exhausted to move. He smiled and kissed her lips.

"Love you, too." He kissed her one more time before standing up and taking her hands. Her legs felt like pudding as she got up beside him. She looked down and smiled at the evidence of his orgasm on her stomach.

"I guess I should probably clean up, huh?"

He chuckled. "I'm sorry; I didn't really think about where—"

"It's okay, Jake," she interrupted. "It really is. I kind of… I don't know; I like it."

He raised an eyebrow. "You do?"

She blushed and swiped a small spot near her breast. "Yeah. I mean, I don't know that I'd want this all the time, but it's kind of hot."

He kissed her lips and walked with her to the bathroom. She met his eyes in the mirror as she got a washcloth wet and started cleaning herself up.

"I'm glad you're not disgusted by it."

She wiped up another small spot with her finger and brought it to her nose, sniffing it. She wrinkled her nose, and he laughed.

"Watching you do that is more of a turn on than I think it should be."

She met his eyes again, looking at him through her lashes. "Really?" She looked at the spot on her finger for a moment. She made a decision and looked up at him again, opening her mouth and licking it off slowly. He raised an eyebrow and gripped the doorframe.

She furrowed her brow and broke eye contact. "Oh my god, that's nasty." She wiped her tongue and quickly turned the faucet back on to rinse the bitter, salty taste away. He pulled her hair back for her and leaned in to kiss her head.

"Remind me never to do that again," she said as she wiped her stomach clean with the washcloth.

"Don't do that again."

She tried to glare up at him but couldn't hide her smile. "Thanks."

She finished cleaning herself, and they walked back to bed.

"Anytime, baby."

She stretched and yawned, suddenly tired. "What time is it?"

He looked at the clock on his nightstand. "Three in the morning. You want to go back to bed?"

She nodded and crawled onto the bed, smiling when he climbed in beside her. She snuggled close to him and kissed his chest.

"Goodnight again, Jake."

"Night, baby." He kissed the top of her head and held her tightly.

"I'll try not to wake you up again."

He chuckled. "You can always wake me up like that, honey."

She smiled and ran her fingers over his chest. "Remember you said that."

"Oh, I will. Get some sleep."

She nodded and snuggled closer. "You too." She yawned again and finally closed her eyes.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading!

Okay, so I have a question. My beta didn't like me using the word 'him' to describe when Renesmee was touching Jake's nether regions. Although I have been known to use words like 'dick' or 'cock', they didn't sound right in this story for some reason. So, my question to you is this: does it sound weird or confusing to you, my readers, when I describe Nessie touching Jake's hard-on by saying 'him'? Do you imagine Nessie going after his boxers one minute, and then suddenly trailing her fingers over his entire body? I am honestly curious. I've read many a story that uses the word 'him' to describe these scenes, and I've never gotten that impression. But I am only one; I would love to hear what others think about this.

Another note – the next chapter may take some time. I am still writing it, so it won't be going to beta for a week or so, and then another week for beta. Reviews help the creative juices flow, so please hit that button and let me know what you think of it!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thank you to my readers and reviewers. I liked hearing your thoughts on the question I asked, and even got advice on a new (to me) website to check out! Woohoo! Thank you also to PTB and betas KateMeteorMuse and tiffanyanne3

Once again, I own nothing.

In my original outline, this chapter was supposed to cover a lot more plot, including some time in Arizona. Unfortunately (or fortunately, whichever), neither Jake nor Nessie wanted to play along. They had their own plans. So read on, watch out for lemons, and let me know what you think!

* * *

Love and Lust

Chapter 6

"Honey, are you okay?" Bella asked at dinner Friday night.

Renesmee sighed and put her fork down. She was done pretending to eat. "Yeah, Mom, I'm okay." She gave the best smile she could muster.

Bella patted her hand, and Renesmee caught the look her mother gave to Edward. Edward sighed; he leaned forward, put his elbows on the table and clasped his fingers together over his plate.

"Renesmee, you know your mother can't stand to see you upset. You'll be coming back in September to start school."

Renesmee nodded. "I know, Dad. But that's almost two whole months that I'll be away from him. I'm really not trying to bring anyone down. I guess I'm just not looking forward to that."

The last two days had been both wonderful and terrible for Renesmee. Since she declared her love for Jacob, and they made it through their first argument, it felt like the days were going by faster. She only had half a day in Seattle before their vacation was over, and they'd go back to Phoenix to resume their normal lives.

"You should probably start packing some things up tonight if you're going to stay with Jacob," Bella suggested. "Tomorrow's going to be busy."

Renesmee nodded. "Yeah, I kind of got started on some of my clothes earlier today." She sat back and gestured to her plate. "Can I be done?"

"You barely ate anything," Edward said.

Renesmee shrugged. "I know, but I'm not hungry."

Bella gave Edward a quick glance before turning back to her daughter. "You can be done if you're really not hungry."

"I'm not. Thanks, Mom. I'm going to go get ready." She took her plate to the kitchen before going to her room. She sat on the edge of the bed and sighed deeply. She remembered when they first got to the hotel―she'd hated everything about it because it wasn't home. Now she dreaded going back to Phoenix and leaving behind everything she considered home.

She sighed again and started packing some things she wouldn't need tomorrow. She already had her bag ready to take to Jacob's, and she didn't have a lot left.

A little while later, her phone went off on the nightstand, signaling a text message. She smiled to herself and grabbed it quickly. Her smile turned to a grin when she saw it was from Jacob.

_Hey, babe. Getting off work early. Call me when you get this._

She was just about to text him back when another message came in, also from Jake.

_By the way – I love you._

Her chest warmed as a blast of excitement radiated through her. He had been trying hard to tell her at least once a day that he loved her. Although she didn't understand why it was hard for him, she told herself to be patient and give him time. She never pushed him to say it, although she said it often. When he didn't say it back, he always made sure to kiss her or touch her somehow to acknowledge her feelings.

She found his number in her phone and hit call, excited to find out what time she could see him.

* * *

"Be sure to have her back no later than ten o'clock tomorrow morning," Bella said to Jacob when he arrived to pick up Renesmee. "Any later and we might just have to hunt you down."

Jacob chuckled. "I promise we won't be late."

"And try not to tire her out too much; we will need her help." Bella winked at her daughter as she blushed and hid her face in Jacob's chest.

Jacob tightened his arm around her and cleared his throat. "Well, ah…I'll do my best?"

"Okay, get gone so you can come back tomorrow." Bella gave Renesmee a quick hug before she ushered them out the door and closed it behind them.

Jacob took Renesmee's hand and led her down the hall.

The ride to Jacob's house seemed too short for Renesmee. She wanted the night to drag on forever so she wouldn't have to leave him. All too soon, he pulled into the driveway and opened her door for her.

Leah was in the living room when they walked in, her school books spread over the coffee table. She looked up and gave a brief nod.

"Hi, Leah," Renesmee said, waving a little. Leah hadn't warmed much to Renesmee, but she was never rude. Leah waved back, not turning away from her books.

"Hungry at all?" Jacob asked, gently pushing Renesmee past his sister and into the kitchen.

"No, not really. We ate dinner at the hotel."

"Okay. What would you like to do?"

Renesmee looked up at him and sighed. There was plenty she wanted to do―like move in right now and never leave him. He touched her cheek gently and kissed her forehead.

"Do you want to watch a movie?"

She thought sitting down with him and just snuggling sounded good, but then she remembered Leah studying in the living room.

"What about your sister?"

Jacob shrugged and was about to say something when Leah interrupted him.

"Yes, Jacob. What about your sister?" she called from the living room. He rolled his eyes and smiled at Renesmee.

"Alright, no movie. Should we just go upstairs?"

Renesmee nodded. Leah ignored them both as they walked past. In his room, she decided she would push away all thoughts of tomorrow and just enjoy the moment. They would deal with things as they came.

Jacob shut the bedroom door behind them and then turned to her. He stared at her, and for a second she wasn't sure what to do. Finally he closed the space between them and pulled her into a tight hug.

"I love you, Renesmee," he said softly.

Her heart swelled, and she squeezed him back. "I love you, too."

He kissed her roughly. She was a little surprised by his sudden passion, but she caught up with him quickly. She reached up and grabbed his hair, pushing herself closer and kissing him deeper. He growled and picked her up, turning to put her up against the door. He pressed his body to hers, and she wrapped her legs around him to get him closer.

She relished the feel of his lips and tongue claiming her mouth fervently, his strong arms holding her securely, and his hips thrusting his arousal into the perfect spot between her legs.

After a few delirious moments, he stopped and pulled back just enough to look into her eyes. "Renesmee," he grunted. He didn't move or set her down.

"What is it?"

"I don't know what to do."

"What do you mean?" It seemed to her that he knew exactly what to do.

He sighed. "I mean, this is our last night together for a while. I want to do things right."

She gently combed her fingers through his hair. "You always do things right, Jake. We might not want to spend the _whole_ night having sex, but we can include it, right?"

He kissed her softly. "Of course we can include it."

"That's good because I really think I might spontaneously combust if you don't fuck me right now."

Jacob grinned. "I hate to tell you then that I will not be fucking you at all tonight."

Her smile faded as uncertainty twisted her gut. "What? Why not? You said—"

"I will be making love to you." He kissed her and pulled her away from the door, carrying her to the bed.

Renesmee giggled in relief as he laid her down and climbed over her. "I think I can live with that."

Jacob kissed her lips as his hands went to the hem of her shirt and began to ease it up. She arched her back, hoping to urge him on. As he moved his lips down her throat, she gripped the back of his shirt and pulled it up. He pulled away from her only long enough to strip off the shirt and throw it to the side. It hit the floor, and he helped her take her shirt and bra off before he attacked her throat again.

His hands were gentle against her skin as he kissed and nipped a path down to her breasts. She moaned softly when he kissed her nipple.

"I don't think I've ever given your breasts the attention they deserve," he said, squeezing her delicately. Renesmee put her hands over his, her thumbs rubbing his knuckles.

"They don't really need that much attention," she whimpered. She gasped when he lightly pinched her nipples, rolling them between his fingers. The sensation went straight through her, causing her body to heat up further.

Jacob chuckled. "I disagree. Breasts as amazing as yours should be worshiped."

She didn't argue with him as he bent to lick and nibble the space between her breasts, taking his time as he explored each one.

Renesmee had never thought her body was anything special until she met Jacob. She always felt sexy and wanted with him, and as he slowly moved down to nibble her stomach, she felt truly beautiful. His hands slid down her sides slowly as he marked a path of kisses down the middle of her body. She tried to be quiet, knowing Leah was studying downstairs.

He slowed as he reached her hips, his hands slipping under her to cup her backside. He kissed her hip and then looked up at her.

"You are so sexy, baby. I want to taste you."

She understood what he meant immediately, and a wave of desire made her hips push up as she whimpered. "Please, Jake."

Jacob smirked and started to pull her pants down. They hit the floor, and he parted her legs. Her body jerked, and she moaned with anticipation. He kissed her hip once more and slowly made his way to where she really wanted him. She gave in to euphoria and stopped trying to be quiet as he kissed and licked her. Her back arched, and she gripped the blanket under her tightly.

"Oh, my God, Jake…" Her legs started shaking, and she cried out again when he pushed a finger inside her. She grabbed his hair with one hand, unconsciously pulling him closer to her. She was getting closer; her whole body tightened in anticipation of her orgasm. She threw her head back and moaned loudly.

He pulled his fingers back and licked her one last time before he moved away. Renesmee looked up at him, surprised.

"What are you doing? You can't stop yet. Please?" She whimpered and moved her hips. She was still so close and felt a little abandoned.

Jacob moved over her and kissed her breast. "Don't worry, baby. I just want to feel you come around me." He kissed her lips and took his pants off. She nodded and moved back on the bed while he got a condom out of his drawer and put it on.

She grabbed his arms as he climbed back over her and positioned himself. She whimpered with desire when he pushed in. He leaned over her to kiss her. Her fingertips dug into his shoulders and her legs wrapped around his waist. She was still sensitive, and it only took a few thrusts before she felt the familiar tension build to an incredible height. She closed her eyes tightly and arched her back as the pressure released in an extraordinary orgasm. She cried out as her body shook with each wave of pleasure.

Jacob groaned as she tightened around him. "Yeah, baby, like that. God, it feels so fucking good."

She relaxed as the waves ended. Her chest rose and fell with her violent breaths. "How in God's name do you do that, Jake? It's like every orgasm is more intense than the last."

He chuckled, still moving slowly inside her. "I'm gifted."

Renesmee licked her lips and took a deep breath, her heart still pounding. "Obviously."

He kissed her lips and adjusted himself, slipping an arm under her to lift her hips up a little. "How do you feel?" he asked as he began pushing harder.

"I am so fantastic. It still feels good."

"Think I can make you come again?"

She smiled widely and scratched lightly down his back. "Let's see just how good you are."

Jacob growled a little. "I'm making it my goal to make you come five times tonight."

She chuckled. "Five? Remember what my mom said."

"Don't talk about your mom while I'm making love to you."

"I do have to help do stuff tomorrow, which means I'll need to be able to walk."

He moved against her harder; his arm around her hips held her tighter. "You can do stuff sitting down. I'll do your walking for you."

Renesmee trailed her fingers back up to his shoulders and moaned softly. "You're going to help me get ready tomorrow?"

He kissed her neck, sucking for a second before answering. "You think I'd just drop you off and leave?" He bit her neck lightly.

She hissed as his teeth on her sent a shiver through her body. "I guess that was a silly question."

"Yes, it was. Now hush and focus. We have a goal to meet."

She giggled, but kept her thoughts to herself and did as he asked. Jacob continued biting and sucking on her neck. The sensation, mixed with him moving inside her and holding her tightly, made it easy for her to lose herself. It wasn't long before she was trembling and gripping his hair. He growled into her neck as he began shaking, and she knew he was close as well.

"Just a little more, Jake. I'm so close."

He growled again and pushed against her more fervently. Renesmee arched her back and cried out when she climaxed. His arms held her tighter, and he bit her shoulder as he came.

He rested his weight against her and nuzzled his face in her neck. She lazily ran her fingers through his hair, fully content to lay like that with him for the rest of the night.

"I love you," she said, turning her head to kiss his hair.

Jacob kissed her shoulder and then lifted his head to kiss her lips. "Love you too."

She smiled and kissed him before relaxing and closing her eyes. She let her arms fall out to her sides and took a deep breath.

A few minutes later, Renesmee smiled to herself while he lifted himself up, threw away the condom, and then started kissing her breasts again. She didn't move other than to nod her head when he asked if she was still awake. She heard him chuckle as he started kissing her down her body again. She let him do what he wanted, trying hard to stay relaxed and not move. When he began licking her between her legs again, she couldn't help but moan and run her fingers through his hair.

"You're serious about five orgasms, aren't you?" she asked, finally opening her eyes to look down at him. Jacob didn't stop; he just looked up at her as he licked her. The view was amazing, and she could only love him more as she looked down at him.

He closed his lips around her clit and hummed, causing her to moan.

"Okay. But if I have five, I get to give you three."

He chuckled but didn't say anything as he turned his attention back to her womanhood.

Renesmee licked her lips and closed her eyes while she concentrated on what he was doing to her. He pushed two fingers inside, and she arched her back as he curled them.

"Oh…do that again," she whimpered. He did and then began pumping them, curling each time he went in. As he moved, he scraped his teeth across her clit, making her cry out loudly and her body jerked. She gripped his hair tightly.

"Shit, Jake, if you stop this time, I'm going to hurt you. Oh, fuck."

She climbed higher and bucked her hips as she came. Jacob pulled away when she started relaxing.

"Oh my God," she said breathlessly. "You are not allowed to touch my clit for twenty minutes, Jake."

Jacob chuckled and moved to lie next to her. "Feel okay?"

She turned and pushed herself against him, sighing contentedly when he held her tightly. "I feel great but exhausted. I'm not sure you'll get your five orgasms."

"Sure I will. I can let you rest, and we have all night." He kissed her head.

Renesmee looked up at him. "We'll see. I love you."

He kissed her lips and tightened his arms around her.

They were both silent for a while as she let her body recuperate. She'd never had so many orgasms in one night, and she was honestly feeling a little raw. She knew he wouldn't push her, but she also hoped she'd be up for more in a little while. She wanted to reach his goal, just so she could try for her own.

As she thought about ways she could make him come two more times, more thoughts started creeping in. She thought about how she wasn't going to see him for two months after tonight. She nuzzled his shoulder, squirming to get closer. He turned his head to kiss her hair.

"I don't want to leave tomorrow, Jake," she said after a while.

She sighed and lifted her legs over his, just trying to be as close as possible. His arms tightened around her, and he leaned in to kiss her lips.

"I know, honey. I don't want you to go, either."

She tried to push her tears away. "I love you so much."

He shifted and turned onto his back, pulling her on top of him. "I love you, too, Renesmee." He rubbed her back, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. Her chest tightened as she tried harder not to cry and burrowed her face into the crevice between her arm and his neck.

"I won't see you again until September," she whined, her voice muffled.

She tried to focus on his hands as they grazed her skin from her shoulders to her hips and back, repeating the path several times. It helped but only marginally.

"At least we'll be able to talk to each other," he said softly. His tone was proof that even he wasn't convinced it would be enough. She just nodded, knowing he was trying to make her feel better.

"What time will you be leaving?"

She sniffled and lifted her head to kiss him. "Our flight leaves at three in the afternoon, so we have to be gone by two."

He brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her again. "It'll be okay, honey."

She parted her legs and sat up a little, straddling his stomach. "I know it will, Jake. I just can't imagine being without you for so long." She wiped her eyes and sniffled again. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be whiny or ruin our night."

He skimmed his hands up her legs to hold her waist. "Honey, you're not ruining anything. You know me; I'm not the most spectacular person when it comes to letting you know how I feel. But I don't want to ignore this and then have you freak out when you need to leave."

She nodded, knowing she probably would freak out anyway. "Promise me you'll still be here when I come back." She felt terrible and prayed that he wouldn't think she doubted his love for her. She just needed reassurance.

"I swear it, Renesmee. I'm yours, and I will wait patiently for you to come back to me. Now _you_ promise _me_ that you will come back."

She smiled, relieved and more than willing to give him reassurance. She leaned down and kissed his lips. "I am so coming back, Jake. Nothing and nobody could keep me away."

"I'm glad to hear it."

She moved down a little so she could rest her head on his shoulder. She gasped, and her body jerked a little when her clit grazed his stomach.

"You okay?" he asked, his hands going to her hips.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little sensitive." She blushed and situated herself so she was more comfortable straddling him. She didn't want to move too far down, knowing she'd only rile him up when there was no chance he'd get anything yet.

He smirked but didn't say anything about it as she relaxed against him. His hands rested at her waist, just holding her gently. She kissed his neck and sighed contentedly as her fingers played lightly across his collar bone. They were both silent for a long moment.

"Baby, I'm curious," Jacob said after a while.

Renesmee looked up at him. "About what?"

His hands tightened their hold on her waist. "Where are you going to stay when you come back for school?"

She sighed and shrugged. She had been hoping she could avoid this subject. "My dad made me promise I wouldn't move in with you. He said I have to have an apartment of my own on campus."

Jacob nodded. "You can still stay the night here whenever you want, baby. My house is always open to you."

She smiled and kissed him. "I love you."

He kissed her back and held her tightly, and she knew he was saying it back silently. She was happy with the way he chose to say it back, but at the same time she wondered why he didn't say it aloud.

"Jake, can I ask you something?"

He nuzzled his nose against hers. "Of course, babe, what is it?"

She smiled and kissed his lips. "Why is it hard for you? To tell me how you feel, I mean. I'm just curious."

He sighed and turned so they were both on their sides. He kissed her cheek and nibbled her earlobe for a moment before answering. She was determined to keep her focus, but his lips only reminded her that they still had two orgasms to go in order to meet his goal. He kissed her neck and moved back to meet her eyes.

"I don't know, honestly. I mean, I could say a bunch of shit about my parents and their avoidance of anything remotely emotional, but I don't really know if that has anything to do with it. When Mom died, Dad had a hard time taking care of the family by himself. He never said anything, but I could see it when he started getting snappy at everyone. I started helping out more where I could, and when he got sick I just kind of took over. After he died and Social Services tried to take Seth, I never told the kid how much it scared me that I could have lost him. I just fought until I won the case. We just don't talk about it." He shrugged.

Renesmee nodded, wondering what it would be like to grow up in a family like that.

"With your dad being a psychologist, I bet you guys talked about everything, huh?" He chuckled.

She smiled. "Pretty much. He didn't actually get his license and go into practice until I was eight years old, but I think it was worse when he first started. Back then, somehow everything was turned into a session with Dad. If I so much as scowled, he wanted to know why. And he'd drag it out of me, too. He knew how." She rolled her eyes and smiled. "He's mellowed a little over the years, but it's still pretty much impossible to get anything by him."

Jacob nodded. "I wonder what he'd say about me."

"He'd have a field day with you. You might hate him by the end of it, though. I really don't recommend it unless you're up for the whole deal."

He raised an eyebrow and rubbed her back. "Why would I hate him?"

She shivered when his fingertips grazed her lower back. "Because he wouldn't give up until you told him everything. He's good at what he does, don't get me wrong, but he can get aggressive when he's determined. He's made more than one of my friends cry."

He furrowed his brow. "Has he ever made you cry?"

She smiled and kissed his lips. "No. He went easy on me when I was younger, and now I know what to expect and how to handle him."

He nodded, looking relieved. She loved his protective side. She ran her fingertips over his chest, smiling when he shivered lightly.

"Cold?" she asked.

He chuckled. "No, that just feels good."

She met his eyes and lightly scratched across his chest, making sure her fingernail scraped his nipple. His eyes darkened, and he leaned in to kiss her deeply. His hands gripped her backside and pulled her closer to him.

"Renesmee," he said when he pulled back.

"Hmm?"

"We still need two more."

She grinned and grabbed his shoulders to pull him on top of her.

* * *

Renesmee and Jacob woke up to his alarm at eight o'clock the next morning. Renesmee groaned and held his arm as they walked to the shower.

"Are you okay?" he asked with a smile.

She chuckled. "Yeah, I'm okay." They'd met his goal, and her legs hurt, her back ached, and her abs were killing her. "I am forbidding you, right now, from ever giving me more than three orgasms in one night again."

He pouted as he turned on the water. "But that was fun."

"Aren't you even a little bit sore, Jake? You got the three I promised you."

"Not sore at all. In fact, I don't think I've ever slept better in my life."

She scowled at him but let him pull her into the shower.

"I guess I probably should have gone over some stretches and stuff with you. That was quite a workout."

She took the soap and started lathering his chest as he worked shampoo through her hair. "Yeah, what's wrong with you, Mr. Personal Trainer?"

He laughed and kissed her lips. "We'll work those kinks out, baby. Tell me where you hurt."

"We're not having sex this morning," she said as he rubbed her scalp. "Just so you know."

"Of course not. I'm going to show you how to recuperate from a workout you weren't ready for."

He kissed her again, and she told him where her body ached. When they got out of the shower, he showed her how to stretch to loosen her muscles.

His hand was on her back as she raised her arms above her head and arched her back to stretch her abs.

"Feel that?" he asked as he touched her stomach.

She nodded and leaned back against his arm as she arched harder.

"Don't strain, honey. Just go as far as you can go until it hurts."

"Okay. What if it doesn't really hurt? It's kind of tight, but it feels good."

"That's good, but you can only bend back so far. You won't always have me to hold you up. There is another stretch you can do laying down, and I'll show you that one in a minute. Right now, go as far as you can go while still keeping your balance."

She nodded, and he helped her to find her limit. As she stretched back, his fingers began wandering. She giggled when he ran his palm over her breast.

"I never realized how sexy this could be," Renesmee said.

He chuckled. "Only because you love me. Believe me; it's nothing like this with my clients. I don't train anyone naked."

She laughed. "You better not, or I'd have to kill some people when I come back."

He smirked and kissed her before continuing.

"How do you feel?" he asked when they were done.

"Much better. Thank you."

He kissed her lips, and they started to get dressed. "You're welcome. I'm sorry I didn't show you last night."

"Don't worry about it. Now I know, and next time five won't hurt so badly after." She grinned until she remembered that the next time wouldn't be for another two months.

"Hey, no pouting." Jacob pulled her into a hug and kissed her hair.

She sighed. "I'm sorry. I can't help it." She nuzzled her face into his chest for a moment before pulling back. "We should probably get something to eat and head over to the hotel." She didn't want to. She wanted to stay in the room with him forever.

He kissed her again and pulled away to finish getting ready.

"Jake, do you think they'd notice if I didn't show up?" she asked as she sat down on his bed to put her shoes on.

He laughed and grabbed his brush. "Yeah, unfortunately I do." He handed it to her when she was done with her shoes.

She sighed again and pulled the brush through her hair quickly.

When they were ready, he took her bag for her, and they went downstairs. Leah was at the table with a bowl of cereal, and she looked up when they walked in.

"Wow. I'm a little surprised you can still walk," Leah said, eyeing Renesmee.

Renesmee raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Leah smirked at Jacob and shook her head. "Last night must have been fun. I was honestly a little scared to go back upstairs until I heard him snoring."

Renesmee blushed; she wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or be horrified. It was no secret that she and Jake were together intimately, but she wasn't sure what to think when one of his siblings commented.

Jacob tightened his arm around her shoulders and shrugged as he led her to the kitchen. "We set a goal, and we met it."

Leah chuckled. "Good for you."

Renesmee took a deep breath and leaned against the counter. She couldn't believe that after Seth had heard them in the shower, she didn't try to be quieter. Jacob stood in front of her and made her look up at him.

"Hey, don't worry about it, honey."

She swallowed and stood on her toes to kiss him. "They probably think I'm a freak," she whispered, praying Leah couldn't hear her.

Jacob chuckled. "Honey, if they think that about you, then they think it about me, too. You weren't alone in there."

She smiled at the thought of making all that noise by herself. "I know, but I'm louder than you."

He kissed her and leaned in further to brush his nose across the back of her jaw. "I love you, and I love how loud you are. Please don't be ashamed. I'd have to feel bad for making you scream, and I really don't think I can do that."

She smiled and kissed his cheek. "Okay, Jake. I'll do my best."

He gave her one more kiss before pulling back. "What do you want to eat?"

They ate breakfast, and Renesmee went back upstairs to make sure she got everything. Her chest got tight as she walked out of the room and met Jacob in the living room.

"I guess I'm ready," she said.

He hugged her tightly and kissed her head. "Remember what we talked about last night, honey. Everything is going to be fine."

She nodded. "I know. I love you."

"Love you, too."

She stood on her toes to kiss him one more time before they walked out the door.

* * *

A/N: Remember to click the review button and let me know what you thought.

I'm on Twitter, SheeWolf85.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Apologies for the long wait on this chapter. I'd actually finished it last week and then decided it was crap and rewrote it. Better late than never, though, right?

I am so happy right now. This story has 50 reviews as of tonight. All of you are so amazing, thank you for telling me what you think of this story. Thank you also to PTB for their wonderful services, and one more thank you to Live_True for her help on this chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

Love and Lust

Chapter 7

The drive back to the hotel was all but silent. Jacob had turned on the radio, and he held her hand the entire way, but neither he nor Renesmee said one word. Renesmee was too afraid she'd start crying if she did.

After stretching with Jacob that morning, she wasn't nearly as sore as she thought she would be. She was grateful, but found she also missed the ache. It was proof of what they had done. She ignored the minor disappointment and focused on her memories of the night before. She squeezed his fingers and he rubbed his thumb across her knuckles.

At the hotel, they sat in the car for a few moments. The car was turned off, and everything was quiet. Renesmee stared at her lap, trying to dredge up the courage to go up to the suite. She knew once they entered, her alone time with Jake would be gone for two months.

"Renesmee," Jake said softly, finally breaking the silence.

She looked up at him, stifling the urge to crawl in his lap.

He brushed his fingers along her cheek. "I'm going to miss you."

Her tears couldn't be held back anymore. Her jaw trembled as her vision blurred, and she leaned forward enough to put her forehead on his shoulder.

"Me too, Jake." Her voice trembled as she spoke.

He rubbed her back and shushed her quietly. "It'll be okay, honey. I'll be here, waiting for you when you come back."

Through her despair, she found herself smiling. "No you won't, Jake." She looked up at him and continued before he could respond. "You'll be at work or at home. Not here, in the hotel parking lot."

Jacob chuckled. "That's my girl. Let's get you up there, okay?"

"Okay."

Renesmee held his hand as they walked down the hallway of the hotel. Her tears were flowing freely now, and she didn't have it in her to try to stop them. When they reached the suite, she turned to wrap her arms around Jake's waist and push her face into his shirt.

"I love you." She sniffled and squeezed him.

He hugged her back just as tightly. "I love you, too."

After a few more deep breaths, they finally pulled apart and entered the room.

"There you are!" Bella said happily. She and Edward were folding clothes on the couch, putting them in their suitcases. "I was getting ready to call you. Ready to get busy?"

Renesmee sighed, took Jacob's hand, and nodded.

"Great. Are you staying, Jacob?"

Jacob nodded. "Yep. Order me around."

Renesmee noticed Edward's smirk and decided to ignore it. Bella rubbed her hands together and found something for both of them to do.

* * *

Jacob drove them to the airport so they wouldn't have to take a cab. Edward had turned the rental car in that morning after making plans with Jacob.

"Your mother and I are going to get us checked in. You have about five minutes before we'll need to go." Edward squeezed his daughter's shoulder and kissed her forehead.

Renesmee nodded. "Okay."

Edward walked away with Bella beside him, and she turned back to Jacob. She sniffled and grabbed his shirt.

"I can't do this, Jake," she whimpered.

Jacob didn't say anything. He kissed her and then crushed her to him, holding her tighter than she'd anticipated. She loved it. She kissed his chest and squeezed him back, gripping the back of his t-shirt.

Somewhere in her clouded consciousness, she was aware of people staring at her as they walked by. She briefly wondered what they looked like, embracing so tightly in the middle of the airport. She didn't care. All she cared about was his arms constricting around her and never letting go.

He dipped his head down and kissed her jaw just below her ear. "I love you," he whispered. He kissed her again. She leaned back enough to meet his eyes, and her chest tightened further when she saw how wet they were.

"I love you, too."

"Come back to me, Renesmee," he said, his voice rough.

"I told you before, Jake, nothing and nobody will keep me away. I'll walk if I have to."

"No you won't. You'll call me, and I'll get you a ticket up here."

She sniffled and nodded. "Okay. But you won't need to."

He squeezed her tightly and kissed her lips. She didn't let him pull back. She stood on her toes and thrust her tongue past his lips. She needed to taste him and feel him everywhere one last time. He adjusted his hold on her so his arms were under hers, and she felt her feet leave the ground as he pulled her close to him. She gripped his shoulders tightly and kissed him roughly. It was urgent and full of fire, passion, and love. She could feel the kiss through her whole body, and she tried to make sure he could as well.

Renesmee wasn't happy when they were interrupted by someone clearing their throat. Jacob set her down and kissed her softly before smoothing her hair down. She blushed when she noticed four or five people giving her a thumbs-up or clapping.

Edward handed her a bag.

"It's time, sweetheart. This is your carry on."

She took the bag and sniffled, looking up at Jacob one more time. "I love you."

He smiled and brushed his fingers over her cheek. "I love you, too."

"I'll see you in two months, okay?"

He kissed her forehead. "Two months. Call me or text me whenever you want. Hell, you can even email me."

"You too."

"Jacob," Bella said, holding out her hand. "It's been a pleasure meeting you."

Jacob smiled and hugged Bella quickly. "You too, Bella. Thank you for trusting me with your daughter."

Renesmee ignored the look her father gave her at Jacob's statement. She knew he wasn't thrilled with how quickly the relationship had moved, but she also knew he understood her point of view.

"We need to go," Edward said, looking at his daughter with regret in his eyes.

Renesmee nodded and threw her arms around Jacob one last time. He squeezed her back.

"Bye, Jake." Her heart felt crushed as she said the words.

"Bye for now. See you in September." He kissed her quickly and took a hesitant step back.

She didn't try to stop the tears as she grabbed her mother's hand, glanced at Jacob one more time, and turned around.

* * *

Renesmee stared out the window of the car as her father drove down familiar streets in Arizona to their house. It was hot, as it always was in Arizona in July. She had always loved the warmth, but now it seemed too hot. She found she preferred warm days and cool nights. She was actually looking forward to cold winters.

Somewhere deep inside her, she knew she should be excited to finally pull into the driveway of the house she'd lived in her whole life. It was a single-story gray house with white trim and a backyard she used to play in. Inside the house, everything was as she remembered from when she was small. Only trivial things had changed since she was a child, such as arrangement of the furniture and some things in her room. She knew this house inside and out.

But she wasn't excited. She felt a flutter of familiarity in her chest as she helped her parents carry their luggage in, but she wasn't thrilled the way she thought she would be. She wasn't dying to grab the nearest phone and call all her friends to let them know she'd returned. She just wanted to lie down and think about Jacob.

When the luggage was inside, Renesmee took her bags to her room and shut the door behind her. Her bed was still made with the purple comforter her mother had given her, and her lamp with the beaded shade her best friend had made was still sitting on her oak nightstand. She sat on the bed and texted Jacob to let him know that she'd made it to Phoenix safely. It wasn't five minutes later that she got a reply saying he loved her.

She sniffled and lay down on the bed, trying hard to feel home. It was all wrong. This wasn't her bed anymore. Her bed was in Jacob's room. Her home was Jacob's home. She gripped her pillow and let the tears come.

She wasn't sure how long she cried before she heard a knock on the door.

"Renesmee, sweetheart," Bella said. "Can I come in?"

She sat up and sniffled, wiping her eyes. "Yeah."

Bella walked in and sat down next to her daughter. "Are you okay?"

Renesmee nodded. "I'm okay. I just miss him already."

"I know, honey. I'm sorry." She brushed Renesmee's hair back behind her shoulder. "Are you hungry at all?"

"Not really. Can I skip dinner tonight?"

"Tonight. But just know that your father and I will gang up on you and make you eat if you try to make this a habit," Bella said teasingly.

Renesmee smile. "It won't be a habit. Just tonight."

"Okay. I love you, sweetheart. Remember that you can always come talk to me or your father." Bella kissed her daughter's forehead.

"I know. Love you too, Mom."

Bella left, and Renesmee sighed as she lay down on her back. She knew she was going to have to snap out of it and be normal at some point, but she just didn't want to face reality yet. She grabbed her phone and curled up on her side to text Jacob again.

* * *

The next day, Renesmee found herself eager to talk to her friends. She hadn't talked to any of them while in Seattle, and she was excited to tell them about Jacob.

Her group of friends consisted of four girls she'd known since Kindergarten. Laura and Amy were both tall and blonde, but almost exact opposites when it came to personality. Amy was gentle and soft-spoken, where Laura was loud and would look for reasons to cause trouble. Brandy was a raven-haired beauty with dark skin that Renesmee had always envied. She was a self-proclaimed maneater, going through a different boyfriend every week. Tiffany was short like Renesmee with long brown hair and light brown eyes.

They each had their own story to tell of the last two weeks. Renesmee didn't go into much detail about her vacation, she only stated that she had news and would tell everyone when they got together. They planned a time for the next weekend when they would meet together for shopping and gossip.

She spent her days getting her information together for school and preparing to take her placement test. Her nights were spent texting Jacob and wishing she could hold him again.

When the weekend finally came, Renesmee hugged her friends excitedly, barely containing her squeal of anticipation. When she pulled back, she bounced on the balls of her feet.

"So?" Tiffany said with a gleam in her eye. "Tell us what happened!"

The other girls nodded and leaned in slightly as Renesmee cleared her throat.

"I met someone in Seattle!" Her voice raised with enthusiasm and her smile threatened to break her face as she told them about how she'd met Jacob and about their first date.

"You slept with him?" Amy said with a sly smile. Renesmee nodded.

"Was he good?" asked Laura.

Renesmee feigned a swoon. "Oh my God! He was amazing."

They began walking from store to store in the mall as she told her friends about the times she'd been with Jake.

"I'm in love with him," she said with a sigh.

Tiffany laughed. "Yeah, I'd be in love with someone that fucked that good, too."

Renesmee laughed, but inside she frowned. "No, I'm really in love with him. I'm going to go to college in Seattle so I can be with him."

"Well, you little slut," Tiffany said with a grin, bumping her shoulder against Renesmee's.

Surprise shot through Renesmee, and she looked at Tiffany with wide eyes. "Excuse me?"

Tiffany slowed for a second as she took in Renesmee's expression. She smiled and patted her friend's arm. "I didn't mean it like that, Renesmee. I just meant that you're going back to Seattle to be with a guy you barely know."

Renesmee pulled away from Tiffany. "I know him enough to know that I want to be with him. I love him."

Amy stayed silent, watching the girls with her eyebrows knitted in concern. Laura looked on with excitement, like she was waiting for the catfight to break out.

"You love his penis," Tiffany clarified.

Renesmee scowled to herself and took a step away.

"It wasn't like that," she said, trying to defend herself and her relationship with Jacob. "He loves me, too."

"Oh, come on" Brandy said, injecting herself into the conversation. "You were there for two weeks, and you said yourself you fucked him almost every other day. Don't you think maybe he just loved how easy you were?"

Renesmee felt a pit open up in her stomach. She knew that wasn't the case and it only stoked her anger. She thought of the fight with Jacob, and how she had come so close to losing him. She would never give in to those thoughts.

"No, I don't think that. He loves me, and I love him. I'm going back to be with him." She didn't care what these people said. She walked into the next store, determined to ignore anymore comments about Jacob. When she realized it was a clothing store, she was determined to buy something to wear for him.

"Renesmee, we're just concerned," Tiffany said, putting a hand on Renesmee's shoulder. Renesmee shrugged the other girl's hand off and plucked a pair of pants off the rack.

"You don't have to be. I know what I'm doing."

Renesmee caught the look Tiffany gave the other girls. She pushed it aside, having already decided she didn't care what they thought.

She went through the rest of the shopping trip dodging comments and questions made by her friends. They had let it go for the most part, but still managed to fit him in the conversation sporadically. When they were finally done, she decided she didn't need her friends. She'd do what she needed to do to make it through the next two months and get back to Jacob.

* * *

"Hi, honey," Bella said when Renesmee got home. "How was shopping?"

Renesmee huffed. "It was great," she said sarcastically. "I made the mistake of telling them I'm going back to school in Seattle to be with Jacob, and they couldn't let it go. The entire trip was them discussing whether or not I was making a mistake." She took a deep breath to calm down. "But, on the bright side, I did get some really cute things. You want to see?"

Bella patted her daughter's shoulder. "I'm sure they were just concerned. And yes, I'd like to see what you got."

They took the bags to Renesmee's room and set them on her bed. She showed her mother the things she got while she told her what she'd decided about her friends.

Bella tugged a curl of Renesmee's hair. "You shouldn't write them off so quickly, honey. You might regret it if you burn all of your bridges now."

"I know. I'm not trying to burn bridges; I just don't want to hear them when all they can talk about is how big of a mistake I'm making by wanting to be with the man I love. Do you think it's wrong?" She looked at Bella with wide eyes, realizing she'd never really discussed this part with her.

Bella held up a shirt and nodded appreciatively before turning back to her daughter. "I don't think it's wrong as long as you feel it's right. I know you love him, Renesmee. I could see it every time you looked at him, and I can see it now when you think about him. It's pretty obvious that he's crazy about you, too."

Renesmee nodded. "It's so right, Mom. When you were first with Dad, did you ever feel like nothing could go wrong when you were together? Like everything was right just because you were with each other?"

"I still feel that way." Bella took a pair of pants Renesmee held up and raised her eyebrows as she inspected them. They were black, glittery hipsters with blue embroidered butterflies going down one leg and on the back pockets. "These are cute, but they look too small. Did you try them on?"

Renesmee laughed and took the pants back. "Of course I did. They're supposed to be tight."

Bella gave her daughter a strange look. "You're already planning your outfit for when you go back to Seattle, aren't you?"

"Yep."

Bella laughed. "Just remember that there's plenty of time to find other stuff, too. Don't get your heart set on one outfit until the week you're leaving."

"Okay, Mom." She felt better knowing that her mother supported her decision to go back to Jake. It was more than just having someone agree with her. Bella had always been a great judge of character, and she knew good people when she met them. Knowing that she approved of Jacob was all Renesmee needed to push away any lingering doubt.

After dinner, Renesmee went to her room to text Jacob.

_You home yet?_

After ten minutes with no response, she figured he wasn't. She focused on cleaning up some of the clutter in her room for a little while until he could text her back. It was almost a half hour later that he responded.

_Hey, Sexy. I am now. How're you?_

She smiled to herself. _I'm good. What about you?_

_I'm alright. Long day. What did you do today?_

She couldn't squish the twinge of irritation she still felt toward her friends as she told him what happened. _Went shopping with some friends and told them about you. They're not convinced I should go back._

She was surprised when her phone rang. She jumped up off the bed, too happy to stay down, as she answered.

"Hi, Jake!"

"Hey, baby. What happened?"

Renesmee shivered. She loved how his voice got rough and sexy when he was being protective.

"They just said some things that kind of hurt me, but I'm okay."

"What did they say?"

She hesitated, and then decided it wasn't that bad. "They tried to tell me I just loved sex and you just liked me because I was easy. I know better than that, Jake."

"I love you, baby, and I'm still here waiting for you."

Renesmee smiled. "I know. I love you, too. I told them that I know you love me and nothing she said could make me doubt that."

"I'm glad. Did you have fun shopping other than that?"

She got back on her bed, lying on her back as they talked. "Yeah, I did. I got some cute things. How was work?"

"Not bad. It just seems to drag on, and I keep thinking about showing you those stretches. I wish I'd shown you sooner, we could have had a lot more fun."

She laughed, her body responding to thoughts of their nights together. "When I come back, you can show me all kinds, and we won't have such limited time to be together."

"I want you back here now." His voice was soft, but it made her shiver.

"I want to be there now. I miss you."

"God, I miss you, too. Only seven more weeks, though, right?"

"Yeah, just about that. I'm going to start registering for classes next week, and getting housing and everything worked out. Maybe, if I get everything worked out early, I can leave early." The thought made her immeasurably happier, even if she wasn't sure it was possible.

"Get it worked out as soon as you can, then," he said with a chuckle. "Tonight, if possible."

Renesmee laughed. "I wish."

They talked for a while longer until Renesmee started yawning. When they hung up, she got ready for bed thinking about Jacob and his sexy voice. She wasn't surprised at how much her body missed him. She craved his touch almost as much as she craved his presence.

She sighed and lay down. Seven weeks, she repeated to herself. Seven weeks and then she could have him back. She tried to tell herself it wasn't that long. Her vacation had been two weeks, and that flew by like two days. She'd been in high school for four years, and those years had gone by quickly. Seven weeks was nothing. And yet she felt like she was standing at the edge of an endless sea that spanned years, not weeks. She sighed and closed her eyes, forbidding the tears to come as she tried to relax enough to sleep.

* * *

A/N: I am anticipating another 2-3 chapters for this story, so we're getting close to the end.

Let me know how you like it! I'm on Twitter, SheeWolf85.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Hi! I'm really updating this one again! I would like to thank all of my readers for their patience while Trust Me temporarily overtook my writing life. I promise this one will take priority until it is complete. I am anticipating another two chapters.

So, before the break, Renesmee and I were a little at odds with my outline. We've compromised, and now the juices are flowing quite well. I hope to have the next chapter up within the next week :)

I'll just come right out and say it – I'm not Stephenie Meyer. I don't own anything; I just get to have fun with her characters.

* * *

Love and Lust

Chapter 8

"I got registered for my classes today," Renesmee said excitedly.

"It's about time," Jacob said with mock exasperation. "What are you taking?"

She giggled and rolled onto her back on her bed. It had taken a lot longer to get started than she anticipated. It was early August, and every day she marked off her calendar as one day closer to being with Jacob again.

"English and math to start with. Dad said it would be better to ease myself into it rather than starting off with a full schedule. So I'll be going half time the first semester, and then jump into full time after that. We got the application for housing sent, too, so I should hear back from them in about a week. I'm so excited, Jake!" She kicked her feet against her bed as her chest tightened with euphoria.

"Me too, babe. Do you know what you're going to major in?"

She frowned. "Not yet. I'm starting with my generals." She wasn't sure why she felt like it wasn't good enough.

"Good idea. When you get those out of the way, you'll have an easier time with whatever you do decide on later."

She sighed with relief and smiled to herself. "Yeah, that's what Dad said. How're Leah and Seth doing?"

"Not bad. Leah's taking a small break from classes, but she'll be starting again in September when you do. Seth finally passed his test the last week of July. At least he won't have to repeat tenth grade. I was worried there for a while."

"Good for him. Tell him I said congratulations."

Jacob chuckled. "I'll do that. What are you up to this weekend?"

Renesmee sighed. "Probably nothing."

"Still not on good terms with your friends?"

She sat up and ran her fingers through her hair. "No, not really. I've tried, but…they just don't get it. Amy is the only one who's even remotely supportive. I can't even look at Brandy anymore without the urge to punch her."

"Friends are important, babe. It wouldn't be right for you to break ties with them just because of me."

"I know. They're like a pack, though, Jake. You take one, you get them all. I can't stand the way Brandy talks about you; she doesn't even know you. But every time we're together she talks about her latest boyfriend and ends up comparing something about him with you. It's like she's trying to get me to be jealous of her. I really try to just shrug it off, but it's eating at me."

Jacob sighed, and she wished so badly she could curl up beside him and feel his arms squeeze her tightly.

"Have you told her how you feel?" he asked, his voice soft.

Despite her attempts to stay calm, her eyes watered and she felt her chest tighten up. "Yeah, I have. She just laughs at me." She rolled her eyes at herself; she sounded like a child.

"Don't let her get you down, baby. What about the others, are they treating you okay?"

She laughed once. "Sure, if you consider avoiding me treating me okay. I haven't heard from Tiffany or Laura in over a week. Amy's nice, but she won't really talk to me. She just never says anything bad about you, but that's how she is. She avoids conflict." She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry, Jake, I shouldn't be taking this out on you."

"Don't be sorry, Renesmee. I want you to talk to me even when it's not something you're happy about. I'm in this relationship one hundred percent, and that means good and bad. I love you."

She smiled and looked up at the ceiling. "I love you, too, Jake. I just wish it was easier."

"Me too, babe."

* * *

The days passed, and Renesmee kept pushing to get everything taken care of for school. She contacted her professors and was waiting to find out what books she needed. They'd heard back from student housing and found that there were apartments open. She filled out the needed paperwork and faxed in all the required documentation. She wished she could just stay with Jacob, but she didn't want to push her dad or Jacob too far. She knew Jacob would welcome her, but she wasn't sure if their relationship was ready for that yet. She felt that having a place she could go to give them time apart, even for just a day, was a good idea.

It was the second day of September, and she hadn't patched anything with her friends. She wondered why she should even care. She would be leaving in two weeks, anyway. Bella and Edward brought it up every now and then, hoping to get her to try harder.

"I'm not saying to forgive and forget, Renesmee, but I am asking you not to just give up on them yet," Bella said at dinner.

"Mom, I'm going back to Seattle in a few weeks, and I probably won't see or talk to any of them again. Ever. What's the point?"

Edward sighed. "The point, Renesmee, is that they're your friends. They've been your friends since you were little. I understand that your relationship with them has changed since you met Jacob. You've matured a lot, sweetheart, and it's pretty obvious that you don't…mesh well with them anymore. However, that is no reason to treat them like strangers."

Renesmee speared a piece of broccoli, pursing her lips. Bella had been the first to attempt to persuade Renesmee to keep in contact with her friends, but it didn't take Edward long to get on board. Arguing with him always ended up in some kind of speech about denial or regret, whether it was hers or her friends'. She didn't want to get into it again tonight. She knew that neither of her parents agreed with or supported her friends' comments. She knew they only wanted to protect her from regretting the loss of her long-time friends.

"Alright, I'll call Amy tomorrow and see if we can meet for lunch or something." She grumbled to herself. If Amy agreed, others would be there as well.

Bella nodded. "That sounds like a very good idea."

After dinner, Renesmee went back to her room. She couldn't text Jacob tonight; he was going out with some friends from work. She was glad that he wasn't shutting himself up the way she seemed to be doing, but at the same time she missed the contact. The night always seemed far too long when he was busy.

The next morning, after breakfast, Renesmee argued with herself as she pulled up Amy's number on her phone. She didn't want to do this. She wondered if she could skip it altogether and just drive around for a while so her parents thought she'd gone out. She sighed to herself, knowing she'd never lie to them like that. She pushed the call button and closed her eyes as she held the phone up to her ear.

"Hello?" Amy's voice answered.

"Hey, Amy, it's Renesmee."

The line was silent for a second. "Oh, hi. Um, how are you?"

Renesmee rubbed her forehead. "I'm…good. Hey, I was wondering if you might want to go to lunch or something."

"I would like to, sure…but I have plans to go lunch with Tiffany and Brandy. Why don't you come along?"

Renesmee looked up, frustration bubbling in her chest. She didn't want to deal with Tiffany or Brandy.

"Laura will be there, too. Please come?"

"Yeah, I guess that could be fun. What time are you guys going?" She could hardly believe she was going to do this.

"We're meeting at Mimi's Café at five. Will you be there?" Amy sounded hopeful, and it made Renesmee a little happier to know that at least one of her friends wanted to see her.

"Yeah, I'll be there. Thanks, Amy."

They hung up, and Renesmee put her phone on the nightstand before she went to tell her parents she had plans for the night.

Renesmee hugged Amy when she got to the café. Brandy, Tiffany, and Laura smiled and offered greetings. They sat down at their table and picked up their menus. Renesmee was hungry, but her stomach was in knots. She hadn't heard from Jacob at all that day. It was Friday, his day off, and he usually texted her at least when he got up in the morning.

They ordered what they wanted, and conversations started up. Renesmee listened as Brandy told the group about her latest escapade. She'd met the guy at some restaurant where he was waiting her table, and she thought he was cute. She got his number, and ended up giving him a blow job that night. Renesmee couldn't help but feel a little sick as Brandy talked. She couldn't really say anything; she and Jacob had gone all the way the night of their first date. But she and Jacob were different. They were in love. Brandy didn't expect to see the waiter ever again.

Renesmee pushed her frustration away. She didn't want to be a hypocrite. Thinking about Jacob reminded her that she was going to text him at the café, and she reached in her purse to get her phone. It wasn't where it was supposed to be, and she picked up the purse to dig deeper. As she searched, she remembered setting it on her nightstand. She couldn't remember getting it before she left. She sighed in frustration and set her purse back down.

"Everything okay?" Amy asked.

"Yeah, I just left my phone at home. I was going to text Jacob."

"Do you even go one day without talking to him?" Brandy asked.

Renesmee raised an eyebrow. "Not that it's really any of your business, but yes. I didn't talk to him at all last night or today. He goes out with friends every now and then."

Brandy nodded, and Renesmee suddenly regretted saying anything at all. She just knew Brandy would use it. The woman's jealousy was plain in every comment and look she gave Renesmee.

"So he goes out, and you don't talk to him?"

Tiffany and Laura both smirked, and Amy gave Renesmee a remorseful shrug. Renesmee squared her shoulders and prepared herself to defend Jacob again.

"He has his life, and of course I trust him."

"You don't worry that he's with another woman?" Brandy asked.

Renesmee rolled her eyes. "God, you just can't let it go, can you? He's not with another woman. He's busy and has a lot to take care of. I'm not going to get upset when he wants to have fun every now and then."

Brandy held up her hand in defense. "Honey, if I know anything, it's that guys don't like to go a long time without sex. Your man will find himself a substitute, if he hasn't already."

"Why can't you just shut up? He's not like that!" She started getting up, trying to ignore everything as she grabbed her things. Amy sighed, and Renesmee felt bad for leaving her. She just couldn't stay here with Brandy and her jealousy any longer. "Goodbye." She left some money on the table for her part of the bill, and then she turned and walked out of the café.

She drove around for a while to calm down before she went back home. She wasn't sure if her parents would be home, but she didn't want to burst into tears in front of them when she knew she'd have to explain herself.

The house was empty when she finally got home, and she shut herself in her room. It was eight o'clock, and Renesmee picked up her phone to call Jacob. She was surprised to find that she'd missed a lot―two phone calls and five text messages, all from Jake. There was one voicemail, and she listened to it first.

"Hey, babe. I need to talk to you. Call me back."

She furrowed her brow. He didn't sound right. He sounded low, depressed. She opened the text messages next, getting more worried with each one.

_I love you, Renesmee. Never forget that._

_Call me._

_Renesmee, I really need to hear your voice right now. Please call me._

_Please tell me you're just not by your phone._

_Fuck._

Her eyes watered with worry as she quickly found his number and hit send. The line rang a few times before it went to voicemail.

"Jake, it's Renesmee. Is everything okay? Call me. Love you."

She stared at her phone for a few minutes, hoping he'd call back. She put the phone down and paced her room, trying to rationalize. Jacob was fine. He was probably just having a bad day. That thought only made her more upset; she should have remembered to take her phone. If she had, she would have been able to talk to him and make him feel better. She hated the thought of him hurting, even if it wasn't physical.

Her phone rang, and she bolted to her nightstand to get it. The caller ID said it was Jacob, and she answered it quickly.

"Jacob, are you okay?" she asked.

"Hi, Renesmee, it's Leah."

Renesmee felt a sudden rush of panic. "What's wrong? Is he okay?"

Leah sighed. "Yeah, he's fine. I saw you'd called him, and I thought I should call to let you know what's going on. He really is fine; he just got a little drunk. He's sleeping now, and I'll have him call you when he gets up."

Renesmee breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you so much, Leah."

"Sure. I wouldn't expect anything until morning though. He, um…well, he drank a lot."

"That's okay. I appreciate it." She was so happy to know that he was home and safe. She was a little concerned about what Leah meant by 'drank a lot', but she would wait and ask him about it. He was a grown man, and she knew that he and his friends sometimes got together for drinks. She was okay with that, she just hoped he called soon so she could hear him tell her that he was okay.

* * *

Jacob groaned as he woke up. The past few days had been hell, and he wished he could just go back to sleep. His brow furrowed as the memories of the night before came rushing back.

He and his friends, Embry, Sam, and Paul, had gone bowling a few nights before, and last night they went to Jared's bachelor party. All Jared could talk about was his fiancée, Kim, and it only reminded Jacob of Renesmee. He didn't think he was ready for marriage, but he was ready to have her with him all the time. The strip club was dark and loud, and the music was some terrible hip hop with a dance-like beat. It smelled of alcohol and sex, but being with friends was good. Until a few of the strippers started getting too touchy-feely for his liking. He pushed them away only to get teased by Embry.

"You don't like what you see? We could ask for something else," Embry said with a smirk.

Jacob shook his head. "Not interested." He really wasn't. Before Renesmee, he would have been thrilled to have as many women as possible around him. Now their touches made his stomach churn. None of them could compare to Renesmee.

Embry smacked his shoulder. "You're not gay, are you?"

Jacob furrowed his brow and smacked Embry's hand away. "Hell no, and fuck you."

Embry chuckled. "No thanks, dude," he said teasingly. "I don't swing that way."

Jacob grumbled to himself and walked away to call Renesmee. He needed to hear her voice. There was no answer, so he left a message and went back to the bar for drinks. The more he drank, the more desperate he was to talk to her. He texted her a few times, ignoring any comments his friends made about women. Eventually the girls got the hint that he wasn't interested and was not going to shell out any money, and his friends stopped bugging him about it.

Nobody would let him drive home, and someone called Leah to come get him. He stumbled up the stairs to his bedroom to pass out, and he thought he heard his phone go off just before he went unconscious.

He opened his eyes and groaned again. He sat up and looked around, trying to come to terms with being awake without Renesmee for another few weeks. On his nightstand was a piece of paper weighed down with his cell phone. He furrowed his brow and picked them up. The paper was a note from his sister.

_Renesmee called last night. She's worried about you, because apparently your drunken self texted her a million times. Call her when you wake up or I'm kicking your ass. Much love, Leah_

Jacob sighed and flipped open his phone to find Renesmee's number. He wasn't excited to tell her that he'd drunk himself to oblivion, and he hoped she could forgive him. She answered after the second ring.

"Jake?" she sounded hopeful yet anxious. He swallowed.

"Hey, babe." He winced; his voice sounded like shit.

"Oh, Jake, are you okay? I talked to Leah last night, and she said you were okay, just drunk."

He lay back on the bed and rubbed his temple. Hearing her voice was heaven and hell at the same time. She always had a way of making him feel good, but right now his head was pounding and every sound was ten times louder than it should be.

"Yeah, I'm alright. A buddy of mine had a bachelor party last night, and I drank way more than I should have. I'm sorry for worrying you."

"As long as you're okay, then I forgive you. Did you at least have fun at the party?"

He thought of all the girls and the music, and he groaned. "Not really." He wondered if she'd hate him if he told her where they went. He couldn't keep it from her, though. He needed her to know what happened, and he wanted her to hear it from him. "We went to a strip club, and all these girls kept trying to get tips. Can't really blame them, I guess; it is their job. All I could think about was you, though."

Renesmee was too quiet for a minute. "You…went to a strip club?"

He covered his eyes with his hand. "Yeah. I think it was Sam's idea."

"Did…um…" She took a deep breath, and he heard the way it shook. He swallowed and waited for her to say what she needed to say. "Okay, Jake, I need to ask you something. I don't want you to be upset, I just…Brandy keeps going on and on about you with someone else, and I feel so guilty for even thinking this, but I need you to tell me the truth. I promise I will believe you, and I'll never question you again." She sniffled, and his heart hurt. "Did you…do anything with any of the girls?"

"No," Jacob answered without hesitation. "No, Renesmee, I swear I did not do anything with them. I didn't even touch them." He prayed she really would believe him.

She sniffled again. "I love you so much, Jake. I believe you, and I promise I won't ever doubt you again. I'm so sorry I even had to ask."

He smiled to himself. "Don't be sorry, babe. I love you, too, and I want you to know you can always ask me anything. I'd rather you ask me and get it out of the way than let it build and cause a problem between us."

"I can't wait until I can be there again. I want to kiss you so badly." Her voice was filled with longing, and it made his chest hurt. He remembered her taste and her touch.

"Me too. Two more weeks?"

"Yep. I'm leaving on the sixteenth."

Jacob sat back up and ran his fingers through his hair. "I wish to God I didn't have to work that day."

"I know, but we'll have that night together."

"I look forward to it." He felt a stirring in his pants and got up. His head was still pounding, and he didn't want to have to deal with that right now.

They talked for a little while longer, going over their plans again. Leah was out of school until the twenty-second, and she would pick Renesmee up from the airport. He had tried to get the day off, but his request was denied. There were too many people taking the weekend off already, so he was stuck working.

He had to remember to do something special for Leah for doing this for him. Even though she joked about it, he knew she at least liked Renesmee a little bit. He hoped they could be friends, because once Renesmee was moved, he and his siblings would be the only people she really knew.

* * *

"Mom? Dad? Can we talk for a minute?" Renesmee asked. Bella turned away from the computer and looked at Edward on the couch. He nodded and put his book down.

"Sure, Renesmee; what's going on?"

Bella moved to the couch with Edward, and Renesmee perched on the edge of the lazy boy recliner. She licked her lips and dived in.

"Okay, here's the deal. I know that Brandy and the others have been my friends since I was little. I know that I should be working to keep our bonds strong so we stay connected to each other while I'm away at school. I know all that, but honestly, I don't want to be involved with them anymore. I could handle it if they just didn't support my decisions. I'd find a way around that, but Tiffany and Brandy don't stop there. Brandy is jealous and has been trying to convince me since day one that Jacob's going to cheat on me. He hasn't, and he's not going to. Tiffany's trying to tell me I don't love him the way I know I do. I can deal with Laura and Amy, and I'm not going to cut off communication with them, but I can't go do things with them when Tiffany and Brandy are there as well."

Renesmee took a deep breath and looked between Bella and Edward. Edward nodded, and Bella sighed.

"You're really sure about that?" Bella asked.

"I'm very sure. What would you have done, Mom, if all your friends tried to convince you that Dad wasn't right for you for one reason or another? Would you have cared if they stayed your friends if all they talked about was how much you didn't belong together?"

Bella pursed her lips and looked at Edward. He took her hand and looked back at Renesmee.

"I'm sorry, Renesmee," Edward said softly. "I'm sorry we've kept pushing to do things with them. We should have understood and let you decide what's best for you."

Bella nodded, and Renesmee smiled. "Thanks, guys, but no apologies. I know you were only trying to help me out. I realize that I've changed a bit since I met Jacob. I hope for the better, but I've changed nonetheless. I've got a week and a half before I leave, and I'd like to spend that time focusing on making sure everything is ready."

"Okay, honey. Thank you for talking to us."

Renesmee got up and hugged both her parents. She was relieved to have that discussion out of the way.

Back in her room, Renesmee went through all of her paperwork and books one more time. She'd heard back from her professors and had gotten the syllabi as well as ordered her books. She was ready. The last thing to do was to get moved into the same state as the college.

She was excited and a little nervous for college, but most of her thoughts were on Jacob. Ten more days.

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A/N: Thank you for reading! Let me know what you thought.

I'm on Twitter, SheeWolf85


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I'm sure I say it a lot, but I love my readers. You guys really rock. Seriously. Nearly 80 reviews for this story at this point! This blows me away.

So, this is the moment you have all been waiting for. The next chapter will be the last one. It may take some time, but it should be ready by next weekend. I hope. This one got done so quickly because I'd already had a lot of it written before chapter 7 was even completed.

If you don't know this by now, then...well, read it now. It's not mine. I own nothing but a perverted vision of Jacob and Nessie doing the nasty in as many situations as possible.

If you've read this note at all (some less patient readers may not have…I don't blame them), then thank you, and enjoy!

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Love and Lust

Chapter 9

Renesmee stared down at the airplane ticket in her hand, not sure if she really believed that this was happening. The plane was leaving in six hours, but it was still surreal.

"You remembered to pack your socks and everything, right?" Bella asked.

Renesmee looked up at her and smiled. "You're such a mom. Of course I got my socks. They're socks; they go in automatically with the bras and underwear."

Bella smiled back, but her lips trembled. Renesmee sighed and got up off the bed to throw her arms around her mother.

"I love you, Mom."

Bella hugged her back tightly. "I love you, too, sweetheart. I'm going to miss you so much."

"Yeah, but don't you think it will be nice to finally have a quiet house?" Renesmee tried to push back her tears, but she knew she wouldn't be successful.

"Sure. It'll be just like it was when you were in grade school, only longer."

"See? You'll do fine. And so will I."

Bella nodded and pushed her daughter's hair behind her ears. "I know you will, baby. You'll be amazing. Remember to study hard but set aside time for play. If you try to make it all about school all the time, you'll get burnt out quickly. Also remember that you have family back home and call me often, okay?"

"I will, Mom. And don't worry too much about school versus play. Jacob's already told me he won't let me fail. Leah's going to the same college, and even though we won't have any classes together, she's already said she'd help if I need it."

Bella kissed Renesmee's cheek, and then they went back to double-checking her bags. Renesmee's school books had arrived a few days prior, and they were packed with the rest of her school things. She was only taking enough clothes for one week with her on the plane and the rest of it would be shipped to her once she got her apartment.

"So, let's go over the plan one more time, okay?" Bella said as she zipped up the last suitcase. "The plane leaves at three o'clock, and you'll land in Seattle at four?"

Renesmee nodded. "Yeah, four o'clock Seattle time. They're an hour behind us, remember. Leah will pick me up and I'll go back to Jake's with her. Tonight I'll stay with him, and then tomorrow he's going to the school with me to settle everything with housing and classes since he has Fridays off."

"Are you going to look at cars tomorrow, too?"

"Yeah, we'll do that after we get done with student housing." She was so grateful that her dad was in a position to help her out financially. He'd given her a ten thousand dollar car allowance to get something to last her through college. The only stipulation was that she kept her grades at B's or above.

She spent the few hours she had left in Arizona with her parents. They watched a movie and ate lunch together, and then it was time to leave.

She stared out the window of the car as her father drove and her mother gave her an occasional glance from the front passenger seat.

At the airport, she got checked in and finally turned back to her parents. She'd never been away from them for longer than two consecutive weeks at any given time in her life. As much as she would miss them, she knew she was going home.

"I love you both," she said as they squeezed her. "And I'll miss you."

"We'll miss you, too." They pulled back and Edward framed Renesmee's face with her hands. "I love you. You're going to do great."

Renesmee smiled. "I know I will."

"You've got your schedule and everything you need for class, right?" He asked.

"Yes, of course I do. And even if, by some random chance I didn't, they'd have it there at the school." She hugged him tightly.

"I just want to make sure you have everything."

"I know, and I do; I quadruple-checked everything."

"That's my girl. I love you."

Her eyes filled with tears and she hugged them both again. "I love you, too."

"Call as soon as the plane lands, okay?" Bella said.

"I will."

She was finally on the plane and found her seat easily. She shoved her carry-on into the compartment above her, keeping her mp3 player out so she could listen to music during the flight. She knew she wouldn't sleep. It was only a two and a half hour flight, and she was too anxious to sleep anyway. She wished she could see Jacob as soon as she stepped off the plane, but a part of her said it was better this way. She wasn't sure she'd be able to control herself once she was finally in his arms again, and she knew airport security frowned on sex in public.

She turned on the mp3 player and smiled at the kid sitting next to her before the stewardess came out and addressed the passengers. It seemed like ages before the plane finally started moving. She took a few deep breaths and closed her eyes. She'd been on plenty of planes before, but never without her parents. She calmed herself by remembering the times she'd traveled with her parents and by thinking about Jacob.

Once in the air, the flight went smoothly. It felt like two weeks instead of two hours, but soon they began their descent into Seattle. She called her parents to let them know she'd made it, and said she'd call again after she got settled for the night at Jacob's.

Renesmee was vibrating with anticipation as she got her carry-on down and shuffled down the aisle with the other people getting off the plane. As soon as she was out of the terminal, she began looking for Leah. It didn't take long to recognize her with her sleek black bob and elegant yet casual clothing. She made an attempt to contain her squeal as she rushed forward.

"Hi, Leah!" she cried, throwing her arms around the woman.

Leah chuckled and patted Renesmee's back. "Hi, Renesmee. It's good to see you again."

Renesmee backed up. "Thank you so much. I am so…oh, I'm so excited!" she bounced on the balls of her feet.

"I can tell. Come on, let's get your bags."

Renesmee tried not to skip as they went to baggage claim and waited for her bags on the belt.

"How is Jake?"

"He's good. I could tell he was excited as well before he left for work today. He was actually whistling when he walked out the door."

Renesmee laughed with Leah. It felt good to finally be here. It wasn't exactly home, but it was so close she could taste it.

Her bags finally came out and Leah helped her carry them to the car.

"Can I ask you something?" Leah asked as she drove.

Renesmee smiled over at her. "Sure."

"Don't get me wrong, okay? He's been so happy since you came along, and I'd never want to see that go away. But, I'm curious…Why do you want to be with him?"

Renesmee raised an eyebrow. "Because I love him."

Leah pursed her lips. "I know, but why?"

"Well…because…I just do." She couldn't really explain what it was about him that drew her in. "Why are you asking? Do you think I'm not good enough for him?" She hoped she didn't sound accusing; she just wanted to know why Leah was asking.

Leah shook her head. "That's not why I'm asking. I think you're a great girl, Renesmee. You're smart and you seem to know how to get what you want. If you love him the way he loves you, then I'm happy for you. I'm asking because he's my brother and even though I don't show it, I care about him. He's always been the one to look after Seth and me, and I don't want to see him get hurt."

"Oh. Yeah, I can understand that."

"Will you just promise me that, no matter what happens, you won't make him the bad guy? He's not bad."

Renesmee furrowed her brow. "I know he's not bad. Leah, I love him. I don't know why, I just do. I feel…safe and home with him. He's everything I didn't even know I wanted. The last two months have been hell for me without him. I really can't see myself with anyone but him. Maybe forever."

Leah nodded as they pulled up to the house. "I'm glad to hear that."

The girls took the bags inside, and Renesmee cherished every step—including the squeaky one—up the stairs and down the hall the Jacob's room. Her eyes watered and she did her best to keep from crying as Leah she the bags she was carrying down near the closet.

"Well, here you go. Jake's going to be home in about two hours. He told me to tell you not to leave this room until he gets back, but I'm not going to bar the door. Do what you want."

Renesmee nodded and hugged Leah again before she left the room. She closed the door and pushed her back against it, looking out across the room. It hadn't changed at all. The bed still sat on the far wall, and it was still unmade. She was unable to stop the tears from flowing as she slipped out of her shoes and ran to the bed. She gripped his pillow, holding it to her face as she sucked in greedy breaths. His scent was exactly as she remembered it, spicy and heady and perfect.

She held the pillow tighter and closed her eyes, just enjoying his scent and telling herself that soon she would have the real thing. She stayed in the bed and pulled the covers over her. Somehow it made her feel closer to him. She began to relax a little more with each breath.

She couldn't say when she drifted off to sleep, but she felt herself wake up. She was so warm and content. She took a deep breath as she shifted to stretch. An arm tightened around her waist and she couldn't turn onto her back. Her body froze for a second, and her eyes popped open. She felt movement behind her as Jacob propped himself up on his elbow. She turned her head to look at him, her face breaking out in a huge smile. He stared down at her with his dark brown eyes, so full of love it made her heart beat faster.

"Hi," he said softly.

She shivered, her body radiating with excitement. "Hi."

She turned her body around to face him, his arm around her pulling her close and eliminating the space between them. He leaned down and kissed her, a hot, searing kiss that left her breathless. She gripped his hair and pushed her chest into him as one leg curled around his. His hand moved down and grabbed her backside, pulling her hips into him. She whimpered and kissed him with more passion.

When they finally separated, they were both breathing heavily.

"I love you," he said heatedly. "God, I've missed you. I love you so much."

She smiled and kissed him again. "Me too, Jake. Me too. I love you. It felt like forever, but I'm here! You're here! Oh…" She pulled him down to her for another kiss.

He pushed her onto her back, leaning over her as he kissed her deeply. His hand began wandering, slipping under her shirt to caress her soft skin. She shivered and moved her hips, her body suddenly in flames.

"Baby," he said roughly between kisses.

She grabbed his hand and shoved it under her shirt to her breast, gasping when he grabbed her roughly.

"Baby, I need you."

She tilted her head and licked his neck, groaning at the taste of his salty skin. It was better than she remembered it. "I need you, too, Jake."

They worked together to get rid of their clothing, and Jacob got a condom out of the drawer beside his bed. She spread her legs for him, and he wasted no time climbing on top and positioning himself. He leaned over her as he pushed in and wound his arms around her. She moaned and wrapped her legs around him, her fingers gripping his arms tightly. Already she felt so close to her climax.

"Goddammit, Renesmee," he cried as he moved against her. He reached down and grabbed her hips, pulling her closer as he positioned himself for harder thrusts. He growled and kissed her neck, sucking on her skin.

She dug her fingers into his arms, her toes curling as he moved. She could feel him so deep, and every movement only forced the tension on her body to wind tighter.

"Jake, I'm going to come!" She arched her back and cried out again as he bit her neck and her tension released in rapid spasms.

"Fuck, baby," he growled roughly, his hands grabbing her tighter until he came.

He collapsed on top of her, his arms still around her and his face in her neck. He kissed the mark he left there and slowly marked a path to her lips. She kissed him back and ran her fingers through his hair.

"I love you, Jake."

He ran his nose along her jaw and kissed her chin. "I love you, too."

She smiled and shifted to meet his eyes. "You've said that quite a lot tonight."

He smirked. "It's because I have a few months to make up for."

She kissed his lips. "But you said it a lot on the phone, too. Is it getting easier for you?"

"Yes, I think so. Almost losing you did that, I guess."

She frowned. "You never almost lost me, Jake." She pushed up on his shoulders lightly and he got up to throw the condom away. He got back in bed and pulled her close. She touched his cheek and kissed his lips. "You never lost me. I love you. I have since I first met you, and I always will. No matter what happens, Jake, I will always come back to you. Please don't ever doubt that."

He smiled a small, one-sided smile. "I try not to, but it wasn't easy watching you leave. Talking to you helped, but every day there was some small part of me that wondered if the last time I talked to you would really be the last."

She rubbed her thumb over his cheek and stared into his eyes. "I love you so much."

He kissed her nose and tightened his arms around her. "I love you, too."

She trailed her fingers down his neck to his shoulders, just looking at him as she did. It had been so long since she'd been able to just stare at him, and she found herself amazed by him again. He smirked at her as she stared, and she felt the corner of her lips rise in response.

"What is it?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

She shrugged. "I like looking at you."

"Yeah?"

She blushed and nodded. "Yeah."

He chuckled. "Well, I like looking at you, too. You're very beautiful."

She blushed harder. "Thank you."

"Why are you thanking me? I'm the one that gets to stare at naked boobs."

She laughed and snuggled closer to him to kiss his neck.

"Are you hungry, honey?"

She nodded. "I'm actually starving."

He pulled back. "Then let's get dressed and find you food."

She nodded and kissed him one more time before they climbed out of bed.

Leah and Seth had both made plans for the night to give the couple the house to themselves. Renesmee assumed that neither of them wanted to hear what would be happening. The thought made her excited to get back in the bedroom after dinner.

Jacob got his sweats on and Renesmee borrowed one of his shirts to use as a nightgown.

"Did you forget your pajamas?" he asked, smirking as he handed her the shirt.

She smiled and pulled it over her head. The bottom reached to the middle of her thighs. "No, I just prefer to be in your clothing."

He looked her over and touched her shoulder. "I prefer you in my clothing, too. You're very sexy."

She stood on her toes to kiss him. "I'm also very hungry. Feed me."

"If you insist," he said as he led her down the stairs to the kitchen. "What would you like?"

She shrugged, and they went through his cupboards to find something to make. They finally decided on some leftover casserole Leah had made the night before. Renesmee heated it while Jacob got the plates and silverware, and then they took everything to the table.

As they ate, Renesmee thought about what they would do later. She didn't want to miss one opportunity to please him or feel his skin.

She thought about a few things Brandy had said, even as she tried to ignore them. She really hadn't ever cared about anything Brandy had to say, but now as she contemplated different ways to please Jacob, she wondered if she should have tried to take some notes. The girl was always talking about things that made whichever dick was in her mouth happy.

"Do you think I should get my tongue pierced?" Renesmee asked.

Jacob stopped mid-chew and looked at her. "What?" he asked after he swallowed.

"Brandy said guys like blow jobs better if the girl's tongue is pierced, so I was wondering if you think I should get it done."

He raised an eyebrow. "First of all, when the hell did you start listening to her? Second, I've never had a blow job from a girl with a tongue ring, so I couldn't say if I like it or not. And third, if you do that just to make me happy, I won't be happy. Don't do anything just for me."

She pouted. "I came up here just for you."

"So _you_ didn't want to come out here?" he asked with a smirk.

"Okay, not just for you. For me, too."

"Yep. If you want to do it, then do it. But don't do it just because you think I'd like it, okay?"

She squeezed his fingers. "Okay. Do you think I'd look good with one?"

He pursed his lips. "Honestly?"

"Of course."

He nodded. "Well…no, I don't think so. I mean, you'd still be beautiful and sexy, but the ring would not be. I'm not a fan of weird random piercings."

"The tongue is not a weird…okay, yes it is. You're right."

"Of course I am; I'm always right." He smirked.

She rolled her eyes and picked up her fork again. "Whatever, Jake. Eat your dinner."

"Yes, dear," he said.

She laughed and took a bite.

After dinner, they cleaned up and went back to the bedroom. Jacob pulled her close to him and kissed her lips.

"You know what I've been thinking about since we walked out of this bedroom?" he said, leaning his head down to nibble her earlobe.

She shivered and licked her lips. "No, what?"

He kissed her just below her ear. "You didn't put your panties on." He licked her throat, and she moaned softly.

She laughed, a throaty, breathless sound, and grabbed his shoulders tightly. "I guess I forgot. Should I apologize?"

"Hell no." He kissed her lips and lifted her off her feet to carry her to the bed.

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A/N: Thank you for reading! Remember to hit that review button and let me know what you thought. I love all reviews, even one or two word ones :) Remember, though, that if you want a teaser or ask a question, I can't reply to you unless you sign the review. I have anonymous reviews enabled for a reason (love all of them!), but it makes me sad when I can't reply to answer a question. One reader (Sarah) asked me why Renesmee's name is not shortened in this story. I wanted to say thank you for noticing. I'm sure others have noticed, but she's the first to comment on it. I did it because it is a change from a lot of other stories―a small one, for sure, but a change nonetheless―and also because shortening the name didn't sound right to me in this one.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Here is the final chapter of Love and Lust. All of my readers have just been amazing, and I love you all. Thank you for sticking with me through this story.

Stephenie Meyer owns it all.

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Love and Lust

Chapter 10

"Okay, I give up." Renesmee dropped her pencil and rubbed her eyes. It was only nine o'clock, and she was sure Jacob hadn't gone to bed yet. She was supposed to be studying tonight, but she could only take so much. She got up and went into the kitchen where her phone was charging.

"I'm not going to call him," she told herself. "I'm getting a drink, not my phone."

She opened the fridge and stared at the orange juice he had given to her a few days before, saying it would help her stay focused. She sighed and turned around to pick up her phone.

"Hey, babe," Jacob said when he answered.

"Jacob, I need help," she whined.

"What's wrong?"

"My ass is getting kicked by polynomials, binomials, formulas, and equations. I thought this would be easy since I did so well in high school, but these guys mean business." She leaned against the counter and ran her fingers through her hair.

Jacob chuckled. "Do you have class tomorrow?"

"Sadly, yes. There's a damn test, too. My brain is literally mush, and they expect me to remember this stuff."

"You're working too hard, babe. Come over, and I'll see what I can do to help."

She smiled brightly. "Thanks, Jake. I love you."

"Love you, too. See you in a bit."

They hung up, and Renesmee squealed as she ran to her desk and started packing her things up. She'd been in school for almost four weeks and loved it, but the college algebra class was much harder than she'd anticipated.

After her first day back in Seattle, Jacob had gone with her to help her get things settled. She'd gotten a small, one bedroom apartment on campus, and had also managed to get a car. It was a 1994, dark green Honda Civic that ran surprisingly well. Jacob had checked it over for her and approved it, so she bought her very first car. She was ecstatic about getting started, and even happier that she was doing it with Jacob.

She'd kept in contact with her parents, calling them at least once a week to give them updates or even just to talk.

Renesmee zipped up her bag and grabbed her phone before heading out the door. She and Jacob had gone out to dinner and spent the night together two nights ago, but she was still anxious to be with him again. She told herself to calm down.

"I have a test, and I need to study. Jacob's going to help me study. Not sex; study." She licked her lips and thought about playing naughty school girl with him.

She stood on her toes to kiss him when he let her in. "Hi," she said with a grin.

He kissed her back. "Hello, sexy. You ready to get started?"

They went to the living room and she sat on the couch to get her books out on the coffee table. "I am. Thank you so much for this."

He sat beside her and picked up her textbook. "Anytime, babe. What are we studying?"

She took the book from him and opened it to the page she was on.

"I thought I was doing pretty well, but every time I try to work on the sample problems I get so confused." She pointed to the sample problems in the book. "I kind of know how to do it, but we're not allowed to use calculators or anything during the quiz, so I wasn't going to let myself use it on these."

Jacob looked over the problems and nodded. "It's been a while, and I'm a little rusty, but I think we can do this. Where do you usually get stuck?"

She puffed out her cheeks and opened her notebook to a blank page to write one of the equations down. She explained everything she did as she did it, not looking at the book and not using her calculator. She paused after a minute, and swallowed. Even though she knew she'd come here to get Jacob's help, she was embarrassed that she needed it. She glanced up at him and licked her lips, afraid to tell him that she didn't know what to do next.

He kissed her head and whispered a hint into her ear, his voice low and husky. She smiled, his hint reminding her of what to do. She kept going with the problem, and eventually finished it after another hint from him.

"Thank you," she said softly. She was so grateful that he didn't call her out on her ignorance.

He just shrugged. "This is why you're here, right?" he asked, scooting a little closer to her. She smiled at him and started on the next equation.

He sat beside her as she worked on the problems, offering a hint any time she got stuck. When a hint was not enough, he'd explain it the best he could. She listened to him talk about polynomials, and decided that she'd never fall asleep in class if he were her professor. She imagined him at the head of the class, drawing equations on the board and talking in his deep, sexy voice. She thought again about playing naughty school girl.

She tore her eyes way from his throat where his Adam's apple was moving as he spoke, and forced herself to pay attention. She was here to get help studying, not to have sex. His fingers moved over a formula in the textbook, and she licked her lips as she imagined them inside her. It didn't help that one of the numbers in the textbook was sixty-nine.

"Are you paying attention?" Jacob asked.

She met his eyes and nodded. "Absolutely."

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? You've got that look."

"What look?" She tried to play innocent, but she knew she was caught.

He smirked and cleared his throat. "That look that tells me you're very turned on."

"Well...math is sexy." She shrugged, and a part of her hoped they could take a sex break.

"Is it?"

"Yeah, of course. I mean, all these equations and…okay, it's just sexy when you talk about it."

He chuckled and leaned over to kiss her below her ear. She shivered. "Let's finish this, and then if you're up for it we can have some fun."

She turned her head and kissed him deeply. She wished they didn't have to finish the chapter, but before she'd had enough of the kiss, he pulled back.

"You have a test, and I'm not going to let you fail because I kept you from studying."

She sighed. "You're right."

"I told you before, Renesmee, I'm always right." He kissed her quickly, and they got back to studying.

She managed to stay focused that time, and smiled triumphantly when she finished the last sample equation.

"Think you can pass the test?" Jacob asked when she closed her notebook.

"Yes, I think so. I'm pretty sure I understand it all now. Thank you, Jake."

He closed her textbook and handed it to her. "Anytime, baby."

Renesmee put everything in her backpack and zipped it up. "So, what was this about having fun when I was done with the chapter?"

They stood up and Jacob took her bag for her. "Follow me, and I'll show you." He kissed her quickly before leading the way up the stairs to his bedroom.

Once the door shut, she stood on her toes to kiss him deeply, and he held her waist tightly. They moved to the bed as they kissed, and his hands moved down to squeeze her backside. She pulled back from the kiss as he started laying them down.

"I want to try something," she said breathlessly.

He kissed her again, harder than before. "What would you like?"

She blushed and pushed up on his shoulders. First, get naked and lie on your back."

He raised an eyebrow. "This sounds promising. Are you getting naked, too?"

"Of course." She took a step back and stripped off her shirt. Once they had removed all of their clothing, he climbed on the bed and got on his back.

"Now what?"

She crawled on the bed beside him and kissed his lips. "Now you follow my lead." She kissed his jaw and worked her way down his throat. His hands rubbed her back as she moved down. He groaned when she reached his hips and wrapped her fingers around his erection. She licked his length once, and contemplated how to get exactly what she wanted. Her knees were by his shoulders, and all she needed to do was straddle him.

She hesitated, not sure he would like what she wanted. He'd tasted her there before, but this time she was the one starting it. As she rubbed his arousal, she looked back at him.

"Jake?" she said, nervous.

He rubbed her leg. "You okay, honey?"

"Yeah, but…I want you to, um. You know…" she leaned her backside closer to him, not sure why she was embarrassed to say the words.

He smiled and took her leg, lifting it over his face. "You want this?" he asked. He took her hips and settled her over him.

"Yes!" she cried as he licked her. She pushed her hair back and leaned down to take his erection in her mouth. They worked together to please the other, and she felt triumphant when she was able to take him in further than before. He groaned against her skin, causing her to moan around him.

After a moment, she knew she was going to have to stop if she wanted more. She pulled away from him and gasped as he lightly bit her.

"Jake, stop," she whimpered.

He did, and she threw her leg over him to get off the bed.

"Did I hurt you, honey?" he asked, leaning up on his elbow.

"No, I just really need you." She got a condom out of the drawer, and understanding lit his eyes. She opened it and helped him put it on, and then climbed on top of him. They both groaned as she slid down, taking him inside her. He held on to her hips as she moved, helping her set a rhythm, as she used her hands on his chest as leverage to push against him harder.

His hands pulled her down to kiss her. "I love you, baby," he said roughly.

"Me too, Jake." She kissed him deeply as he gripped her hips tighter and pushed his up into her.

"Oh, God, right there," she cried. She leaned her head forward to rest on his shoulder as they moved, and she whimpered as she got closer to her climax. Her fingers lightly scratched his chest as she kissed a line from his neck to his shoulder. He groaned and helped her move faster.

"Dammit, babe, you need to come over and study more often."

Her laugh turned into a moan. "I definitely agree. I can be your naughty student."

He moved harder, pushing his hips up with more fervor. "Shit, I want to see you in a little plaid skirt."

"Fuck, Jake, I'm so close." She bit his shoulder as the tension inside her peaked. He growled as she released, her body clenching around him. He held her hips still as he moved into her until he finished, crying out as he came.

They both relaxed, Renesmee still on top of him. She listened to his heart pounding as his fingers trailed up her back.

"I love you, Jake."

He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly as he kissed the side of her head. They laid there for a moment before he pushed her gently to the side. She moved and met his eyes curiously.

"I need to get this thing off," he said as he sat up to throw the condom away. She smiled to herself. He got back in bed and she snuggled up to him. He held her tightly, and she thought about what was coming. She didn't want to leave. Before she was ready, though, she realized she would have to. She kissed him one more time and started getting up.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

She sighed. "I've got to go back to the apartment."

He frowned. "What time is your test tomorrow?" he asked, trailing his fingers up her arm.

"Nine o'clock." She pouted. She so wanted to stay.

He looked up at the ceiling for a moment. "I have to be to work at eight. I can wake you up when I leave in the morning, and you can either stay here until you have to go, or head home. Please stay?"

She smiled. The idea of staying in his arms tonight was too tempting. "Okay. I think I'll go back to the apartment when you leave, though, because I'll need to change."

He smiled hugely and kissed her. "I love you, babe."

She snuggled closer to him and kissed his neck. "I love you, too."

* * *

"So, are you coming to the party?" Aaron asked.

Renesmee sighed and looked over at her towheaded classmate in English. Aaron had done everything to get Renesmee's attention since her first day in class. At first, she thought he was a good friend. Over the weeks, he'd gotten pushier, and some of him comments were blatantly sexual. She'd told him time and again that she had a boyfriend, and all he said in response was, "I know."

"I don't know. It depends on if my boyfriend will be coming with me." She didn't want to go to a college party without Jacob. She had a few friends, and they often did things together, but there was something about this that didn't sit right with her. If she went, she wanted Jacob to be with her.

"You don't do much without him, do you?"

"I like doing things with him. What's wrong with that?" she asked, squaring her shoulders.

Aaron shrugged. "Nothing, I guess."

Renesmee nodded. "So if he goes, I'll go. See you later." She smiled sweetly and walked away.

It was one week from Halloween, and it seemed most of students on campus were getting excited about a costume party held by one of the wealthier students. She'd told Jacob about the party, but neither of them had made any plans yet. She decided she'd better figure out what she was going to do.

Later that day, after she'd finished her required reading and Jake had gotten home from work, she picked up some Chinese food and went over to his house. She smiled to herself as she knocked on the door.

Jake answered, and smiled brightly when he saw her.

"Hey, babe. Wasn't expecting you today." He stepped back and let her in. "How are you?"

She held up the bag of food. "I'm good. I wanted to see you, so I brought you dinner."

He kissed her and took the bag. "It smells good. Thank you." He led the way to the kitchen where she got some plates and silverware while he unloaded the bag.

"I brought enough for Leah and Seth, too. I wasn't sure if they'd be here, but I figured they could heat it up later if they weren't."

Jacob nodded. "Leah's got a late class tonight, but Seth's here." He kissed her again and went to holler up the stairs at his brother. Renesmee smiled to herself as she set three plates on the table.

Seth bounded down the stairs and smiled at Renesmee as he sat down. "Real food, sweet!" He rubbed his hands together before scoping out the containers. Renesmee smirked at Jacob.

"I got that Mongolian beef you like," she told Jacob, handing him the container.

"Thanks, babe."

As they started eating, Renesmee was only getting more anxious to talk to him about the party. She'd decided that she really did want to go, and she wondered what she would have to do to convince him to go with her. She corrected that thought; she knew he'd go with her, but she wondered what she'd have to do to get him to dress up with her.

"Did you finish your homework, Seth?" Jacob asked. Renesmee looked over at Seth, and he nodded.

"Yep. All eighty thousand pages of it."

Jacob chuckled. "Good job. Ready for tomorrow?"

Seth shook his head. "I'm never ready for more school."

"Okay, you ready to see Danielle again?"

Renesmee smiled when Seth blushed. He shrugged, and Renesmee smirked at his attempt to be convincing. "Why would I want to see her again?"

Jacob shrugged, too. "I don't know. You seem to talk about her a lot, though."

"Shut up, I do not."

She looked between the two brothers, trying to hold in her laughter. She didn't want to embarrass Seth any more than Jake already was, so she held her comments for later when she was alone with Jake.

"Whatever you say, lover boy."

Seth's face was bright red as he stared intensely at his plate. He didn't say another word until he was done eating. When he'd cleared his plate, he stood up and mumbled, "Thanks, it was good," and all but ran out of the room. Jacob chuckled.

"What was that about?" Renesmee asked curiously.

"Seth met this girl, Danielle, in summer school. He says he doesn't like her, but I see right through him. He's hooked."

"Oh. Teenage love." Renesmee batted her eyes at him.

Jacob chuckled, and they got up to start cleaning up their mess. "At least it keeps him in school. He's been doing great so far this year. Sometimes she comes over to study with him."

She raised her eyebrows as she set the plates in the sink. "You sure they're really studying?"

"Well, even if they aren't, his grades are good. As long as he keeps bringing home the first three letters of the alphabet and stays out of trouble, I'm okay with whatever he wants to do. I've talked to him about birth control, but he swears up and down they're not even kissing yet."

She stood on her toes to kiss him as she filled the sink with soapy water. Once the dishes were done, she took his hand and led him up the stairs to his room. He shut the door behind them and leaned down to kiss her.

"Did you have an ulterior motive for coming over tonight?" he asked, taking hold of her hips to pull her closer.

She grinned. "I did, but it's not what you think."

He leaned down and ran his nose along the back of her jaw line. "No? Then what is it?"

She swallowed and forced herself to focus. "I want to talk to you about the Halloween party."

He pulled back and met her eyes. "Okay?" He kissed her once more before they went to the bed and sat down.

"Well…I kind of want to go. But I want you to come with me."

He shrugged. "Okay. We can go."

"And you'll dress up with me?"

"You never said anything about dressing up." He raised an eyebrow.

She laughed. "It's a Halloween party, Jake. Dressing up is a given."

Jacob sighed. "You realize I'm twenty-four, right? I haven't dressed up for Halloween since I was eighteen."

Renesmee got up on her knees beside him and kissed his cheek. "Then it's about time you did it again. Please? I'll love you forever and wear something really sexy for you."

He smirked. "You'll love me forever regardless, and I don't want you wearing anything really sexy in front of other men."

She rolled her eyes, but she had no ground to argue with him. "Fine, if you do this for me, I'll let you decide what you get."

He paused to think about it for a minute. "Anything I want?"

She had a feeling she knew what he'd want. "Anything you want."

"Before I agree, what were you thinking about for costumes?"

"I hadn't thought about that yet. I wanted to see what you thought."

He nodded. "Okay. Well, if I get a say in the costumes, and you'll give me whatever I want in return, then I'll get dressed up and go with you."

She threw her arms around his neck. "Thank you, Jake!"

He laid back on the bed, taking her with him. "You're welcome, honey. Let's talk about those costumes."

* * *

"I feel like an idiot," Jacob said as he adjusted the headdress.

Renesmee trailed her fingers up his arm. "Why? You look really hot." They were getting ready for the Halloween party, and he was dressed in tan, fake deer hide pants and fringed shirt. He had on a small feather headdress that went down to his shoulders.

He chuckled and touched her cheek. "You're the one that's hot. I'm going to get laughed at."

She scoffed. "Whatever, Jake." She had to admit she felt pretty hot next to him, though. After a lengthy discussion about costumes, each dismissing ideas they didn't like, they finally decided that he'd go as an Indian chief, and she'd be his pale-faced lover. Her hair was braided down her back, and she was wearing a dark brown headband that wrapped around her forehead and tied with a feather behind her head. She had on a short dress made of the same tan material of his pants with a dark band around her waist. She loved how the tan fabric looked dark on her skin, but light on his.

He leaned down to kiss her, and he groaned when the headdress started slipping again. "This damn thing is not going to survive the night."

She laughed and took it off. "You can leave it here if you want. You still look very Native American."

Jacob smirked. "I guess that's acceptable then. Are you ready to go?"

She nodded, and he took her hand as they walked out the door.

When they got to the party, Renesmee was surprised by how many people were there. They walked up to the house, and she smiled at people as they passed. She said hello to those she recognized. Once inside, the music was so loud she could hardly hear herself think. She looked up at Jacob, wondering if this was even such a good idea. The smell of alcohol permeated the air, and she wrinkled her nose.

"Are you okay?" Jacob asked, speaking loudly to be heard over the music.

She nodded. "Yeah, this just wasn't what I was expecting." She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but she knew that at least a fourth of the crowd was under twenty-one.

He led her through the crowd to a less populated spot near the wall. "Were you expecting 'Twister' and 'Spin the Bottle'?" he asked.

She smiled. "No, not really. There's alcohol here, though, Jake. I'm only eighteen." She started berating herself. It was a college party; she should have known there would be alcohol.

Jacob leaned down to kiss her. "You don't have to drink, Renesmee. You also don't have to stay here if you're not comfortable."

She nodded and looked around. "Can we stay for a while? I don't want to drink, but I'd like to at least see my friends."

"We can do anything you'd like. Should we see if we can find some virgin drinks?"

Renesmee raised an eyebrow. "Some what?"

He chuckled. "Virgin. Means no alcohol."

"Oh. Yeah, I'd like that."

"Okay. Why don't you stay here, and I'll see what I can find?"

She stood on her toes and kissed him. "Thank you. I'll be right here."

"Be right back, babe."

She leaned against the wall as she watched him walk away. A few people came up to talk to her, and someone asked her to dance. She declined, stating her boyfriend would be back any minute. She liked seeing her friends in their costumes, and was having fun until another familiar face walked up to her.

Aaron was dressed as Tarzan, and Renesmee couldn't help but smile at the ill-fitting, animal print toga. He didn't look convincing at all.

"Hey there," he said, holding up a drink. "Fancy seeing you here."

Renesmee nodded. "Yeah, I decided to come after all."

Aaron gave her a lopsided grin. She smiled back tentatively and pushed her back against the wall.

"So what are you supposed to be?" he asked, leaning his shoulder against the wall beside her. "An Indian Princess?"

She swallowed back a flutter of uneasiness at the smell of alcohol on his breath. "Well, not exactly—"

"You make one hot princess, Princess."

She wrinkled her nose. "I'm not a princess." She didn't like this guy calling her that, either. She looked around, hoping Jake would come back soon.

"You could be my princess. I'm Tarzan. How 'bout it…Jane?" He wiggled his eyebrows and started leaning in. She took a step away from him, sliding down the wall. He furrowed his brow and moved closer.

"No, Aaron. I'm not at all interested in being your princess. I have a boyfriend whom I love very much, and I would appreciate it if you didn't come so close to me right now." She held up her hands to push him away if necessary.

"Why not? Do I make you nervous?"

Renesmee thought about going to find Jacob, but she didn't even know where to start. The house was huge, and she knew she'd only get lost in the crowd.

"No, you make me nauseous."

Aaron laughed, and she searched the crowd again. She smiled when she saw him turn a corner. He was close. She pushed Aaron back and took a step toward Jacob. Before she could get away, Aaron grabbed her arm.

"Where are you going? I, Tarzan, will—"

"Let go now, before you get hurt," Jacob interrupted. Renesmee grinned, knowing she was saved.

Aaron laughed and looked up at Jacob. "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Jacob, the boyfriend. Let her go and leave her alone."

Aaron did let go of her arm, but he turned and squared his shoulders. Even standing at his full height, he had to look up to meet Jacob's eyes.

"I'm Tarzan. What the fuck are you?"

Renesmee looked between the two. She hoped Jacob put him in his place without hurting him or getting hurt. Jacob leaned forward, getting in Aaron's face.

"I'm your worst nightmare if you don't leave her alone."

Too drunk to realize he had no hope, Aaron didn't give up. "What are you gonna do about it?" he asked, provoking the other man by reaching out to grab Renesmee's arm again. "Nobody wins against Tarzan."

Renesmee gave Jacob a nervous glance. A few people had stopped to see what was going on, and suddenly she just wanted to get out of there.

Jacob looked up and met her eyes for a moment. He took Aaron's wrist and looked back down at him. "I'm a chief, and we've been known to scalp people. If you don't want your head to be my trophy, you'll let her go." He squeezed the other man's wrist tightly.

Aaron tried to pull his hand back. "Okay, I get it. I'll leave her alone."

Jacob let go and pushed Aaron away from Renesmee. Aaron glared for a second before he walked away. Jacob glanced quickly at the crowd before he took Renesmee's hand and started leading her away. She didn't argue; she wanted to leave. Once out of the house, Jacob turned to her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, running his fingers down her neck.

She nodded. "I'm okay. Thank you."

"I love you, Renesmee. It's my job to protect you from assholes like that."

She stood on her toes to kiss him. "I know, and I'm so glad you did. Did you see anything that made you want to stay? Because I'd really like to leave if not."

He smirked. "I didn't. As far as drinks were concerned, they had water. We can leave."

She laughed and followed him to the car.

"Leah and Seth are both home tonight. You mind if we go back to your apartment?" Jacob asked as he opened her door for her.

Renesmee smiled up at him. "That would be fine with me." She got in the car, and he started driving to her apartment. "I'm sorry; that party didn't turn out how I'd hoped."

He took her hand as he drove. "It's not your fault, babe. I bet we can have more fun with just the two of us." He smiled at her.

She blushed, but she knew he was right. When they got to her building, she led the way up to her apartment.

"What would you like to do?" she asked when she shut the door behind them.

He leaned against the wall and touched the headband on her forehead. "I believe you owe me for dressing up."

She smiled and trailed her fingers up his chest to his shoulders. "You want your prize now?"

He took her hips and pulled her a little closer. "Sort of. Do I get to set the scene and everything?"

"Of course." She stood on her toes and he kissed her.

"Okay then. We both need to change. You've got those clothes I left here?" She nodded, wondering what it was he wanted. He'd left some things at her apartment, just like she'd left things at his house, just in case they ended up staying the night at one place or the other without planning. "Good. I want you to wear one of my shirts, if you would."

"Sure. What will you be wearing?"

His hands slid back and squeezed her backside. "A pair of sweats."

She kissed him again, and then they went to change. She loved wearing his clothing. The shirt was huge and comfortable, and it smelled like him. She took her hair out of the braid and brushed it through, and then met him in the living room.

"Now what?"

He touched her cheek and walked to the kitchen. "Now we make dinner."

She raised an eyebrow. "Really?" She wasn't sure how making dinner fit in a sexual fantasy. It was what he wanted, though, so she didn't complain.

"Really. I promise I do have a plan. Let's make that chicken thing you've got in the freezer." He opened the freezer and got it out. "Chicken parmesan." He handed her the package.

She smiled to herself and set the oven to the correct temperature. "It says to cook it for fifty minutes. What are we going to do for fifty minutes?"

He smirked. "You'll see."

She took the film off the tray and set it on a cookie sheet like the directions said, and then turned to put the sheet in the oven. As she bent down, she felt his hands run down her back. The heat from the oven hit her face just as he squeezed her hips. She had a feeling she knew what all this was about. She stood up and shut the oven, and then turned back to him.

"I need to set the timer." She reached around him to reach the timer magnet on the fridge. She set the time and put it back. "Now what?"

He kissed her, pushing her back as he did. His hands wrapped around her back and held her steady as they moved until she was against the counter on the other side of the small kitchen.

"I've wanted to fuck you in the kitchen for a while," he said in between kisses.

"Why didn't you say something before?"

He dipped his head to kiss her below her ear. She shivered and gripped his hair. "Every time I got you in the kitchen how I wanted you, either Leah or Seth was home." He continued kissing down her throat until he reached her pulse point. She moaned when he bit her lightly.

"You've got me here now," she managed to say.

He straightened back up and kissed her lips. "Yes, I do. Turn around."

She did as she was told and followed his lead. He pushed her hair to the side and kissed her neck. She shivered as he kissed a path to her shoulder and ran his fingers down her back. He kneeled down behind her, and she closed her eyes as his hands slid up her legs. He kissed her backside through the shirt until his hands pushed the fabric up and pulled her panties down.

"You have one hell of a sweet ass," he said softly. He kissed her again, and she moaned. Once the panties were gone, he pushed on her inner thigh to spread her legs further. She cried out when he licked her. She wanted to grab his hair, but she couldn't reach him in this position. She settled for holding on to the edge of the counter.

After a moment, he stood back up and kissed her shoulder. "Turn around again, honey." She did, taking hold of his shoulders to steady her shaking legs. He lifted her up so she was sitting on the counter, and then he kissed her lips. "Lean back."

She leaned back and rested her weight on her palms behind her. He kissed her once more before he dug the condom out of his pocket and took his sweats off. She smiled as he put it on, and then he took her hips to move her closer to the edge. She spread her legs for him, wrapping them around him as he pushed in.

She reached up with one hand to hold his shoulder as he moved. Her head fell back as she whimpered. "God, Jake, you feel so good."

He grabbed her hair and lifted her head to kiss her deeply. He groaned into her mouth and moved faster.

"Fuck, Renesmee," he growled as he pushed against her harder. She moved her fingers up to grip his hair, so close she could feel herself shaking.

"Just a little more, Jake," she cried. "Please, I'm so…oh, God." She threw her head back as the tension in her body peaked and released. He growled with his own climax, holding her hips tightly.

"Holy shit!" she cried when he pulled away. "We have got to find more time in the kitchen."

He chuckled as he helped her stand. "I couldn't agree more." He tossed the condom in the garbage and kissed her.

"How much time is left on the timer?"

He turned to look at the timer on the fridge. "We have five minutes. Just enough time to get dressed and set the table."

She smiled and stood on her toes to kiss him. "I'll put the shirt back on, but I'm not going to wear any panties."

"No?"

"Nope. I want more after dinner."

He chuckled. "You got it, babe."

She pulled his shirt over her head as he put his pants back on. Once dressed, she got the plates while he got some drinks and took them to the table.

As they ate, she thought about her relationship with Jacob. The last month had been amazing, and she looked forward to the next two years she'd be in college for her generals. She'd heard the saying 'home is where the heart is' before, and never thought too much of it. She knew now it was true, though. Her heart belonged to Jacob, and now and forever, her home was wherever he was.

* * *

A/N: Thank you for reading! Let me know what you thought.

I'm a little sad that it's over, but honestly I'm more relieved. This has been a wonderful story to write, and I've loved every chapter of it. I'm ready to move on, though. It started as a oneshot, and I'm still not sure how I managed to drag ten chapters out of it. All of my amazing readers have kept me going, though, and I appreciate and love you more than I can say.

I would like to give special thanks to my Twitter girls, Live_True and IzzyRoseXD, for their ass kicks and threats on my life (that's mostly a joke). They really helped me get through this last chapter, and without them, it might not have gotten done. So thank you, ladies.

With that, I bid you adieu. If you're interested, check out my new story, Give Me a Sign. The prologue is up, and it will be updated at least once a week, if not twice.


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